as my brain is settling down from nicotine w/d, getting more physically active and having my psych meds changed, i'm discovering that most of my fears and anxieties boil down to:
fear of making mistakes
all or nothing thinking
fear of what other's think of me
people pleasing or taking on others' beliefs
i had been running for a couple weeksish and i had started picking up distance and my breathing was improving. however, i have a bad case of runners knee right now and i think a lower impact activity would be better.
i bought a bike at the thrift store today for like 25 bucks. it needs some work but it will be okay until i can get to a second hand sports store and get something for real.
the bike i got today needs at least one tire tube, the back break adjusted and there is something funky going on with the front gear control. none of these will prevent me from using the bike except maybe the front tire. we'll see. either way i'm too sore still in my knees today to even bike.
i did a lot of journalling the past six months and i did a fourth step. however, i think that it's time to torch it all and get on with my life.
love you all, eric
