60 Years Old Living With Someone

[libby]

Just love to hear all the advice out there. As some of you know I am living w/an alcoholic, can't really make it sound as bad as it does, i do my share of drinking too. I guess that's why I attract them. I have a girlfriend who lost her husband almost a year ago and is in a bereavement group. I have gone out w/her friend from the group once in awhile and she gives me tough advice about not settling for someone just because you re 60. Sometimes I think that is true, don't want to go out looking for love now, but don't want to live a life that is not true to me. Fear does play a part in it and I hate that. I like the guy but he is not in love w/me and I am not in love with him, we are just comfortable w/each other. What do you think out there, he's 64, I'm almost 61, are we really going to find the love of our life at our age or do we enjoy what we have, not that bad. My girlfriends have lost there husbands and I go out w/them once in awhile, don't know if they are giving me good advice or just want another single to hang out w/them.

[carlie]

Listen to your gut !!! If you have to ask...then I think you already KNOW the answer !!!!!!

[karen-williamson]

Hi Libbby! Just so you'll know--I don't have all the answers, but I've been through a lot of stuff in my life so I'd like to try & help. I've survived losing a baby when he was only 24 hours old, 2 divorces, raised my own 2 sons & my 2nd husband'ss 2 sons to be grown men, colon cancer and now I'm 55 years old/single and loving life being an EX smoker. I have chosen at this point to not be in a relationship unles it is with someone who is worth my time, energy, effort and love. The last boyfriend I had was 5 years ago. He turned out to be a cheating, lying jerk. I've dated since then, but not committed to anyone because I refuse to settle. I can be happy by myself enjoying my life as opposed to being unhappy with someone I'm not really, really in love with. The best advice I can give you is "BE TRUE TO YOURSELF". Do some real, complete, absolute, HONEST, soul searching & decide for yourself if you are on the right path or not. You are a real person who deserves health and happiness. You just have to figure out how to give those precious gifts to yourself. I'm not going to tell you to "stay with him" or "leave him". Those are decisions you have to make for yourself. But, before doing that, be honest with yourself. Live authenically. Be who you are & who you are supposed to be. Believe me I know from experience how stress over relationships, jobs, financial problems or anything else can do a number on your mind/body & spirit. I truly believe that is what caused my body to break down to the point of getting cancer. You deserve the best life you can give yourself. Go find out what that is. And please keep coming to this site. It will definitely help you with your quit. Quitting is something that will bring about a positive change in your life that you can build on & use to make whatever changes may be needed for your own health & happiness. 🙂

[libby]

Thanks Karen, In an argument right now, will answer you later or tomorrow.

[joe-williams]

Just checking on you Libby.

[libby]

Thanks for checking up on me. Karen, enjoyed your email, you made me want to really do some soul searching, but how do you do it w/them living w/you and they have nowhere to go and begging to let him stay. I know, it's not my problem he has nowhere to go, probably a good reason that he doesn't. Anyway, thanks for your input, you guys give me strength to do what I think is inevitable.

[libby]

I did go to Alanon about a year or so ago when my son got out of his 1st rehab. His counselors recommended it. I did get something out of it but started getting bored with it because I am in a small town w/the same 4 or 5 people there with the same stories. Now I babysit while my daughter-in-law goes. I may go back some day, right now she needs it more than me/.

[spunkie]

Libby stop putting everyone before yourself listen to what you write it is your Son first then your Man then ou Daughter in law Hey girl maybe that is why you drink PUT YOU FIRST ..... I have the same problem so I know it easy to say and hard to do but try as hard as you can to put you first..... (((( HUGS)))))
SMOKE FREE AND LOVING IT