I really DID NOT think I would make it this far!!! Every day seemed so hard, that in the beginning I was certain that I would slip up, but instead of looking too far ahead I took one day at a time and got through each craving a little sooner and easier than the last, here I am 60 days later and it has gotten easier with each passing day.
I had some medical issues and boy oh boy did I want to use that as an excuse to light up, it seemed so ironic to me that I finally did something so good for my health by quitting and that is when my body seemed to turn on me!! But I am doing much better now and I have come to realize that I did alot of damage to my body by smoking for 21 years, and that while my health is getting better, it might a few months to get all that junk out of my body.
I am so excited and hopeful and I haven't felt that way in many years. I spent a least a few minutes of every day for 21 years worried about cancer or heart disease. I would sometimes look at my children and feel so sad, because I was convinced that I wouldn't see them graduate from college, get married, or have children, then depression would set in, then a little self loathing because I knew I was doing it to myself, I knew that I was slowly committing suicide.
I knew that quitting smoking would help me get healthy physically, what I didn't know is that it would also free me from the intense fear and worry of death and disease I suffered from every single day. I am finally free and it feels damn good!!!
