I joined this wonderful & encouraging site about a week ago. My quit date is Mon. 4-22-13 & was advised here to get my support team in place, so here I am. Excited yet fearing my life of not smoking. I had quit w/my 1st husband about 25 yrs ago & enjoyed 9 years of a beautiful smoke-free life, until he died of melanoma at an early age.We were married 20 yrs. I have been smoking again for 17 yrs. Now 60 yrs old, I have used every excuse to question why I wd stop now @ my age, etc. My current husband of 15 yrs also smoked, but we quit "together" about 3 wks ago. He travels for his job right now & we quit on the day he left for another 6 wks (we love being together so it's very tough on us to have him gone so much, but such is the economy). He has been successful w/his quit but I caved after 3 days. I have not told him so that I wdn't mess up his success. I am alone in this "freedom journey", as I can't get the support from my nucleous family since they don't know I smoke. Yes, I am 60 & have hidden it from them, as none are smokers (family of 6). They live an hr away so I visit them often & have to abstain & freshen up before the visit. It's hard here at home since I'm by myself & it's easy to cheat & don't have a guard dog here to keep me safe from the nicdemon. I have read Carr's book twice, even got the one for women & read that in 1 day. Have read & copied excerpts from articles and keep reading your blogs here & from "Why Quit" site. I am living & breathing these readings, trying to change my mind-set for quitting so I will be armed for next week. I have a great fear of flying, but wonder why I am so fearful of it that it stops me from traveling, yet continue to smoke, which I shd fear much more since more people die from smoking than in planes. None of my grown sons or their wives smoke & have bugged me to stop for yrs now. I am not around smokers so that's not the difficult part ~ it's just ME, being weak!. I don't smoke in my home. I live on the west coast of FL, right on the water so I spend my time (smoking) on my balcony watching the water & boats going out. I own a small landscape business so I am outside all day, so I very much associate all of my smoking time to outdoors. I am fearful of the physical/mental feelings of quitting. I found myslef crying a lot 3 wks ago when I "tried", & then caved ( yes I was mad when I started again). I will need your help immensely on my quit day & beyond! Thanks for this site & for being so optimistic & encouraging. I really need for this forever quit to happen! ~~Sorry this is lengthy, & if you guys were smokers, you would have had to take a few smoke breaks just to get this all read. Just wanted to give you some background.
Michele, Freedom Date 4-22
