4 days and counting...About to slip

[jen30]

I thought it would be getting easier by now. Especially considering I was only smoking three a day for weeks before my quit day. But after four days of not being at work...and no smoking...that pack I had left over in my desk was extremely tempting. If I hadn't broke them into pieces early this morning when my resolve was strong...I might be smoking one now.

So I know when I get home there will be at least four smokers in the house, and I have been thinking about smoking one since I threw the pack away this morning. The family doesn't help at home, asking me to pick them up a pack while I'm out running errands (I say HELL NO!), so no chance that they will actually be supportive this evening, and keep everything out of site.

And...(this is really horrible- so please forgive me, EX-ers)...but in one small way...this site has helped convince the addict that it is okay to "slip", everyone does, no one succeeds the first time, so I shouldn't expect to- I can have one cigarette, and then jump back on the wagon. I KNOW this is an excuse to smoke, and addicts always try to find a way to get back to their fix. I DON"T WANT TO GO BACK.

Four days and twenty hours isn't much, but small steps start every journey.

So if everyone could just keep me in their thoughts and prayers and send good vibes my way right now...it would be deeply appreciated....

[melissa9]

True hun most if not all of us have slipped when we were first quitting but it only makes it harder. You have had 4 days smoke free dont do that to yourself. It will only make it harder. I know I messed up and smoked again when I first quit. It was so stupid. The second time was harder some people in the family even had a beat going on how long it would take until I went back to smoking. They blew smmoke at me and all. But I adopted the NO EXCUSE.

[hwc]

"HWC- I was trembling a lot. Really kind of shocked myself that I destroyed them so quickly."

Tell me about it. I kept two packs in the cupboard in the kitchen for the first three days of my quit, including the one I put back after may last puff. I thought they helped me quit by proving I was stronger than the addiction, depsite the guys at whyquit.com saying emphatically, "NO. Get rid of them!"

Then, on day 3 or 4 (I can't remember), they started calling to me. I sat and visualized those cigarettes in the kitchen. Just like you, I knew right away, "This is no good!". I marched to the kitchen and carried the things out to the trash (which was sitting at the curb waiting for pickup a half hour later). I was literally trembling with adreneline just touching the things.

That's why I just chuckle to myself when people here say, "Oh, no... It helps me to quit having cigarettes around." You can tell 'em, but what's some guy with an 11 month quit know, right?

You'll get through today and then you'll have beaten the worst day of your quit. And then you'll have a better day. They won't be all easier, but you'll start to get a couple of easier ones, alternating with a tough day.

[JonesCarpeDiem]

We can put ourselves through Hell or we can decide quitting is better than smoking and deal with it

[linda8]

Jen of course the site says it is OK to slip, but that isn't to give us excuses to do it, it is to make us realize we are all human and if we do slip, we can start again, but keep that it mind, it is going to be starting all over again. It is funny that you are on day 4 and having such a rough time. I think that is when i had the worst time, around day 4 or day5. I am currently at 8 days and some hours, and the only time it really seems to be bothering me is right after I eat. Good luck be strong and find something else to occupy your mind and your self so you don't slip. Let me know how you are doing, and again good luck!!!

[hwc]

As a practical matter, you started craving a cigarette the day you became addicted and have lived to satisfy that crave ever since. I know it sounds counter-intuitive, but the only way to break that crave is to NOT smoke. Give and have just one and you are right back in the trap and the next crave a couple of hours later will be just as intense.

Instead of focusing on just one cigarette, think about the other 7300 this year that go with it (for a pack a day smoker). Think about that pike of cigarettes. The damage it will do to your breathing. The stink. The cost. That's your choice. None or All.

Before you go home or the instant you get there, listen to this podcast lesson:

"I Want One"
 
BTW, fantastic job destroying those cigarettes. I did that on day three or four when all the sudden those things were CALLING MY NAME. I bet you were trembling a little, huh? I was. That's day four for you. You did great. Just stick with that personal commitment to get thru today without a single puff. Tommorrow is a new day.

[jen30]

HWC- I was trembling a lot. Really kind of shocked myself that I destroyed them so quickly. I was actually proud that I had destroyed them, then...they have been calling my name all day(them nasty destroyed things in my trash can), and that little bit of pride I felt kind of disappearred...I'm still just an addict trying to get through the next few minutes...

[linda8]

That is the way girl, instead of taking it day by day, for right now just take it minute by minute or hour by hour. Good luck, just stay on here as much as you can or go take a walk, something to get you away from the thought of the smokes.

[christine2007]

It is a minute by minute decision to quit sometimes. Stay in the moment. Good luck!

[regina]

Hey Jen.. I'll be hitting my 5 day mark in a few hours.. and I know how hard it is.. My mother actually asked me to pick her up a pack of cigarettes on my 2nd day.. I said absolutely not and laughed at her. She still smokes and smells disgusting and makes the house stink.. but I deal with it. I just spray around with air freshener and light candles 😃 I actually bought myself crest white strips last night -- to do something good for myself.. some more benefits of quitting are no more yellow teeth! For the first day I left my cigarettes hanging around where I could see them and I got sick of starring at them so I put them in the fridge -- I guess I thought just in case.. they could stay fresh? -- but the other day I took the pack and tossed them in the garbage. I know what it's like with smokers around.. it sucks.. but you are better than that. I've been told this and I've noticed it myself.. very often other smokers are not supportive of people who quit because it is a threat to them -- they aren't strong enough to do it and want to pull you under with them. Rise above it. You can do it. There is no point in relapsing.. You will have to detox yourself all over again.. and will you really enjoy that guilt ridden cigarette?? Best wishes always!

[barb6]

Jen, please don't smoke. Read where your body is in recovery right now. Do you really want to go back?

At 20 minutes after quitting:
*blood pressure decreases (though it can fluctuate weeks or months after quitting, and may be affected by NRT)
*pulse rate drops (though it can fluctuate weeks after quitting)
*the body manufactures more mucus to begin ‘flushing’ the system
*body temperature of hands and feet increases

At 8 hours:
*carbon monoxide level in blood drops to normal
*oxygen level in blood increases to normal
*the nervous system begins to awaken

At 24 hours:
*chance of a sudden heart attack decreases substantially
*blood vessels are expanding back to normal
*most of the nicotine has left your body
*hormone and other body chemical levels begin a process of readjustment
[If not using NRT, you may be experiencing tingling in the limbs and face; dizziness- due to increased blood/oxygen flow; blurred vision; concentration or memory difficulties- same reason]

At 48 hours:
*nerve endings start regrowing
*the cilia in the lungs, becoming unparalyzed, begin cleaning the lungs- IF YOU HAVEN’T GOTTEN LUNG DISEASE BY NOW, YOU MOST LIKELY WONT.
*the body’s cells demand nicotine
*ability to smell and taste may be enhanced
[If not using NRT, you may be: jittery; exhausted; having difficulty sleeping; restless/irritable; angry and/or emotional; difficulty talking; increased clumsiness]

At 72 hours:
*eyesight may sharpen; colors become more vivid
*bacteria in the gastro-intestinal tract are shifting back to normal
*all nicotine has left the body, though nic metabolites will be detectable in the hair follicles and fingernails for up to a year
[If not using NRT, you may be (still all of the above and): gassy; bloated; cramping; hungry or not hungry at all]
*heart may be fluctuating in rate and frequency

[pamela]

Great Job in staying smoke free!!!!!!!

[edith2]

You did the right thing and you should be proud of yourself for not giving in. You thought it through. I'm not cured and I'll never be cured. But I hope I never smoke again because I might not have another recovery.

[buddysmom]

Please don't smoke! You've worked hard for your four days - good for you!

[claudia2]

Jen,
I hope that you stay strong and don't toss the 3 days you have put it to a new life of being smoke free.
I'm not sure who at you home smokes, the size of your home or any details...but if you explain to them this is for your health so that you will live longer maybe they will smoke in the garage, or on the porch.
I had to make those arrangements and so far my son has respected my wishes.
I wish you all the luck in the world to stay strong...