4 Months Quit (Well kinda, or maybe not)

[cheryl_1-1-14]

Well, I haven't smoked a cigarette in 4 months.  Never thought that would be possible unless I was in a coma with both arms in casts and I couldn't reach a lighter.  

I've been kinda quiet lately but I still try to read everyone's blogs.  I want to support you all but feel somewhat hypocritical.  Being a hypocrite doesn't work for me so I'm a little torn as to if I should contribute my comments or just keep quiet. Here's my problem......From day one of my quit, I've had an e-cig or a vape pen to rely on whenever I felt I needed it.  Most on this site HATE e-cigs and say you might as well be smoking.  As we all know, life goes on if you smoke or not and just as expected, my personal life has been absolutely crazy since I quit smoking. I have reached for the vape pen many times but have yet to put a a cigarette to my lips.  To me, this counts for something.

I know that vaping is a crutch and doesn't help me get rid of the hand to mouth habit but I see how many people who quit when I did have disappeared from the site or relapsed and had to start over or didn't even try to quit again and I keep telling myself, I would rather turn to vapor than fire up a smoke and totally lose my quit forever.  I would never say my way is as good as flat out cold turkey but I know if cold turkey was the only way to quit, I never would have even tried.  

For the purpose of this site and those it has saved, I don't feel comfortable cheering others on when I haven't done what the elders consider "quit".  I will admit that your way is better than mine but I will never regret using what ever I felt I needed to give me the strength to take the first step to quit smoking.  It might take me a year to completely get over this but so be it.  I still feel I'm in a beter place than where I started.  I don't smoke.  I DON'T SMOKE.

I'll keep checking in and reading your stories and wishing you all the best.  I really hope that everyone who visits this site can just crush their smokes and never want another one.  For those who don't feel that strong and need a little help, I hope you all will support them as well.  We are all headed in the same direction or we wouldn't be here.

[annb]

Hey Cheryl, Glad to see you and no don't feel like a hypocrite! Baby steps my love!!! You are working on it and be proud of that. I started with ecigs last year but couldn't stop wanting the "real thing baby"! I got scared of em when they made me cough! Started thinking well what's in these things!!! Anyway long story short went back to smoking cigs until I got the second wind to really quit in March. You will find your way. Keep trying. Cut down on the ecigs just like you would on real ones (they are expensive little devils!) and practice your quit. Maybe set a quit date etc. It is a learning (or unlearning! process). You can do it, the way that works for you. Never give up!!! ((((Hugs))))

[smorgy8513]

Cheryl, first of all....don't ever feel like you can't come here and support through blogs and responses all those who are doing this same journey.     You will hear both ways on here as far as you vaping!   My opinion?   You are making positive changes in your life AND you need to stop the ecigs too.    First because it will be better for your physical health and second because then you won't feel like a hypocrite.        I agree with Ann....start weaning off of them and set a quit date.      You are giving them way too much power:

 As we all know, life goes on if you smoke or not and just as expected, my personal life has been absolutely crazy since I quit smoking. I have reached for the vape pen many times but never put a a cigarette to my lips.  

Don't let the fear the you can't do it without something get in your way.    It is the same fear that we all had before we quit the cigarettes.

Take a step back and look at the vape pen in the same way you did the cigarettes.   Wht can you do instead of picking that up?

This is all my opinion only....I just believe you can do this.....Let me know if I can help!

Sharon 271 days of Freedom!

[JonesCarpeDiem]

what about the nicotine?

If you are still turning to it for stress you still have both the addiction and the habit.

I'm not ragging on you about it but what are you free of?

[Thomas3.20.2010]

You are not a hypocrite, Cheryl! You are not claiming to be anything but honest. Nobody is more suspiscious of e cigarettes than me. But you have been up front about your strategy and I support you in the goal of becoming Addiction FREE! 

It does seem to me like 4 Months is a long time! If your life has been so stressful then that you felt you needed to vape, it will probably never not feel that stressful. Nicotine adds to stress! The only way off this not-so-merry-go-round is to set a quit date for the e cig and stck to it - no matter how stressful life is!

We will support you when you decide to quit using Nicotine! You'll be absolutely amazed at the diffference! 

Set a date and launch your Forever Quit!

[cheyenne7]

I have wondered where you were, I certainly have missed you!!!!

Cheryl you are not a hypocrite....you are an awesome, honest person....

I often feel "off" giving advice and cheering people on when I, myself, struggle so hard with my addiction....but I do because I think it helps both sides....

Please know that your advice and your cheering has helped soooo many.  I can say that I've always enjoyed your input, and when you went quite, I immediately noticed....that is because you are such a plus to this community ❤️

Why am I a cold turkeyer?  Well, I'm afraid of NRTs, I'm afraid of the nightmares I hear about with the patch, I personally never thought about the inhaler, lozenges and/or gum because I never knew anyone who did that in my 3D world.  Also, I have a cheap side about me...lol...and althou I can spend a fortune on smokes, I can't seem to open my wallet for a NRT....something weird about me, I suppose...

The ecig....got one a while back, a year or two ago, not sure....anyhow I tried it and it did nothing for me as far as not wanting me to smoke....so I would do both...in other words, it didn't do the replacement thing for me....but that's me...

There are a lot of opinions here about a few different things....but we each belong here, and contribute with our own styles and each has something to bring to the community wth their own experiences....personally I need lollipops, it is very hand to mouth, and I'm not giving them up....

You have done great--you should be proud!!!  Sorry this is so long, but I miss you!!!!  Do not beat yourself up...I have a pack of cigarettes in my cabinet....it would be safer if that was an ecig in my cabinet....love you : )

[moody_9-18-13]

Cheryl, you really don't know how many people you have helped through your encouragement. Please continue to help others. I believe it is a part of the therapy of treating our addiction. I agree with what others have said, set a date to quit using the ecig. Heck, you might even want to try the patch to wean off the ecig. I don't know, just an idea.  

Hey, I didn't use NRT's to quit, just a lot of chocolate and dum dums those first couple of months, but nothing guarantees I will stay away from nicotine forever. My thining is it's not the method we use to quit, it's about our resolve. I promise myself each day that I will remain free. That's all any of us can do.

Moody, day 227

[Michwoman]

Hi Cheryl! As I read your blog, I can't help but think that YOU are your biggest critic. We do not see you as a hypocrite. In my opinion, you think of yourself that way and are rationalizing it.

It is ultimately what YOU think and how YOU feel that will be the gauge of your success. How do you really feel about vaping? Do you feel you need to stop to be considered a true EX smoker? Only you can make that detemination.

In the meantime, you are ALWAYS  welcome to come here and encourage others. Like Moody said, you really don't know how many you have helped. Just being here is helping!!

Keep moving forward my friend!

[Jaxson1-16-14]

Hey I've missed seeing you Cheryl!! Who do you think gave me my own personal theme song?? Uhhh that would be you! Moody hit the nail on the head, you have no idea how many people you have helped, I would be one of those people and I do not think of you as a hypocrite!!

Please continue to hang out with us!! Congratulations on 4 months my friend, that is huge! I am sending a RRROOOOAAARRR out in celebration! You ROCK!! Hugs!

[meme21]

Cheryl, in my book you are a NONsmoker and have been smoke FREE for 4 months.....way to go!!! 

Everyone has their way of seeing "the quit".....some use Chantix, some use patches, some use gum, and some use food......and on, and on, and on. The common thread is to do exactly what you have done....to KICK TOBACCO!!

Stay with us lady, I need you!

Meme (3/24/14:)

[VAPEASDEADLY]

Mind you I am a new kid on the block, and I can easily understand how you feel.

I am my own worst ... Critic, enemy, fill in the blank..  

For me, that became a justification as well,  "i wasn't "smoking"  until the cure began biting me. .

the nicotine industry had me hooked.  I just got off a 4 yr roller coaster of vaping nicotine.
I understand the allure, the fact is that is what sucked me in to.
I am 14 days post nicotine. 

Vaping for me had reached a point where it was nicotine or food, nicotine or sleep, nicotine or ...
it had complete control.
I can't label hypocrisy, I know for me it became a pattern of lying to myself about what i was doing with nicotine.
the vaping does and did impact my ability to breath, it destroyed my appetite, I speculate because of the CO/O2 exchange  it impacts much  in terms of brain function, as it would explain why it is taking a while for a fog to lift.

Contrary to the advertisements I will call BS on safety of vaping. Maybe in comparison to the risk factor of Pall Mall Red's ok. But it still as deadly and as addictive, (if not more so)
No amount of nicotine is safe for me. None.

the 1st week is a Mother frigger. But getting that Capuchin (nicotine) monkey OFF MY BACK, has eliminate the feeling of me, lying to myself about it.

the word  "Freedom" takes on new meaning. it took a good week for the crazies to stop. But when you wake up on a morning an find you ain't reaching for those 1/2" diameter battery and jug of nic to start your day and instead your feeding yourself an apple or breakfast you've turned a corner.

God Bless. It is worth it!!