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[cat39]

umm. so. yeah.  fighting with spouse over finances again.  not too much fun and a helluva trigger.  i really hate being made to feel as though my concerns or needs are of no consequence.  to anyone. ever.  so this morning has been a little difficult.  not caving, though.  and trying to remember that i don't have it so bad.

[cat39]

[cat39]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HTBv4kAdk_w

[Yaya2.6.10]

Smoking won't change your finances or the fight over them.  Know that you are worth a lot to yourself and to others and do not allow others to make you feel of no consequence.  I found I got a lot more sensitive to supposed and real slights in the early days of my Quit 

[ShawnP]

I agree with yaya! take some deep breaths and exercise or walk it off until you feel better.

[cat39]

maybe that's it, yaya.  or maybe he's just a self-absorbed pissant who sees things as only affecting him.

that's why i gotta come here and blog it out, because, umm, i'm really angry now and really fighting a tremendous urge.  he keeps his smokes right there in the drawer and he knows i know that.  i may just have to punch myself in order to keep my hand from reaching in there to pull out a pack.  instead,  i will just type until my fingers turn blue.  i will not give in.

what i'm most upset about is that yesterday, i was calm and accepting and this fight has blown that out of the water.  i have to try, try, try to get that calm head space back.  just need to blow the anger away and breathe.

when i was in nursing school, my roommate and i had a really good stressbuster.  we lived in a flat that backed up to a dead end alley.  we used to go to this discount store that had drinking glasses for about a dime apiece.  we would keep a supply of those on hand and whenever the stress got really bad, we would go throw these drinking glasses at the wall.  AMAZING!!  we would always end up laughing.  of course then we had the mess to clean up, but that was okay.  it kept us from thinking about what had stressed us out in the first place.  man, i wish i had that wall again.  lol.

okay, well, just remembering that has helped a bit.  and--my fingers are going numb.  so i'll just shut up for a while and let you guys take it from here. 

love you all!

[wishingstar]

Hey girl, you do what ever takes, its all about you and not him. this quit is yours. he's someks are in plain site. I see all the time. I see as a evil thing that discuses me.

you did the right thing you bloged it out. deep breaths and ,

here is a a good stress buster 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-ssXJtzFOjA Animal crackers

hugs and love my friend

[smorgy8513]

Hang in Cat!   I like the idea of throwing the glasses.   Another 1 is to throw ice cubes in the bath tub.    Do whatever it takes to not smoke       Would spouse keep cigs somewhere else?    Just keep coming here and posting.    Read what is out there too, I know for me something each day hits what I need.

Stay strong!

[smorgy8513]

Hang in Cat!   I like the idea of throwing the glasses.   Another 1 is to throw ice cubes in the bath tub.    Do whatever it takes to not smoke       Would spouse keep cigs somewhere else?    Just keep coming here and posting.    Read what is out there too, I know for me something each day hits what I need.

Stay strong!

[joyeuxencore]

Cat I am VERY fond of beating pillows and screaming at the top of my lungs...I live alone so only scared the neighbors...they know why though...

Remember it is futile to smoke 'AT' someone...I am mad at YOU so I kill ME...Yeah...not a great idea.

It is always a choice and the choice is always yours! Stay free...You are making it through the most difficult time...xo