According to my clock I now have 200 days of not smoking. I originally decided to quit because the company that I was buying my cigarettes from online notified me that they were no longer going to be able to send cigarettes by mail. They gave about 6 months noticed and advised everyone to stock up. I did and started planning for when I ran out. Planning my quit that is. I was in grad school and decided that graduating would and quitting would work nicely together. Well, I got scared and put off quitting for a while longer. Then I quit...a few bumps and two (I think it was two) relapses and then back on the horse. Now I've got 200 days behind me. It definitely got much much easier. That being said, there has been no magic moment for me when smoking became repulsive or the memories of the positive associations of smoking disappeared from my brain. I really did want that to happen! I remind myself of all of the negatives that occur due to smoking and appreciate my quit a little more every time I pass a smoker and am reminded of being chained to cigarettes by cravings both physical and mental. I am aware that even one cigarette is too many and will get me right back to where I was when I started.
Ironically I recieved a call today and was in a meeting so I let the call go to voicemail on my cell. Checking the message after the meeting I heard a recorded message from the cigarette company I used to buy cigarettes from. They were calling to inform me that they are now able to cell cigarettes again via mail. Wow. I don't think I've felt that sense of panic in a long time. I deleted the message and have no intention of buying cigarettes online or otherwise. But it made me aware again of how fragile my quit is if I don't take care of it and remember not to take it for granted!
~Lauren
.png "Cat_Mom_Jen"){kind=avatar}
