Congratulations to me! 20 days smoke free without cheating. I have quit at least one thousand times before and have restarted by "just having one". I know I can't just have one. If I just have one I will be a smoker again. I am using the patch and it does work but today has been tough. I have a very high stress job and just worked two long days with a new computer system and I can't get out of bed today and I don't really want to. I usually feel a lot of guilt about this feeling but I'm letting it go today. With the patch on I don't think about cigarettes all day long but today I have. I think I'm just having a bad day and it's almost over and I haven't smoked. It doesn't matter what other people think either. I can't explain to a never smoker how hard it can be. I have explained it but they really don't get it. All of you get it because you are going through it so I know you understand, which helps. I haven't had many days like this so it makes it that much harder. I know tomorrow will be better. Maybe sometimes you just have to give into these feelings and just ride it out instead of trying to think of something else, distracting yourself, etc., etc. I have been having the craziest, long, and involved dreams. Sometimes they're good but last night was awful. I was at work and it just kept going and going. I think work stress has made me feel this way today and it's good just to do nothing today.
Thanks for listening
