18 days till quit- New to the community

[rockngrohl]

Hi everyone,

I actually joined a couple of months ago and set my quit for July 7th but I have now pushed the date back to the first week of August.  I have been smoking on and off since I was 13 (am 47 now).  I'm kicking myself because I quit 10 years ago and didn't have another cigarette until about 2 years ago.  I had a couple when I was visiting a friend out of town (no kids, no husband) because I wanted to feel like my old self- free and no responsibilities.  I was able to put it down for a few months, then visited the friend again and smoked again.  That time I didn't put it down.  I'm a working mom to 3 kids aged 9, 11 and 13 and have been having significant marriage issues, that have caused me to wonder if I should divorce.

The daily stress of work and family life seem to grind me down.  I suffer from depression and anxiety, though I do seem to be on a medication that does help quite a bit.  I've tried keeping the number of cigarettes down, but since Corona came to town, I'm up from 3-4 a day to 8-10 and I can see I'm spiraling out of control.  I can't seem to handle stress without it.  Every time the kids do their screen time, I'm outside lighting up.  I've even given them extra time so I can go out and have another.  I know I need to quit- smoking is a risk factor for serious complications with Covid, but everytime I steel myself another stressor comes along.  I am also a speech therapist in a school, so things are getting really bad because we don't know my school's reopening plan and my kids go to another district and they have announced that school is in person 5 days a week with precautions.

I don't know if this is a good time to quit, but there never seems to be a good time.  There's always something stressful that comes up.  This is the first time I've joined a support group like this so I hope that by connecting with others I can stay on the path to quitting.  I'm just so on the fence right now .  

[AnnetteMM]

The "right time" to quit is when you are WILLING to quit. You'll always have stress, that's life isn't it?

Are you willing to read up on nicotine addiction and come up with a good plan? Then here we are! Start by looking up Alan Carr's book "The Easy Way to Stop Smoking" to understand how addiction works. And come here every day for support and more!  You can do this.

[Mandolinrain]

We are here for you. Reach out when you need us  Welcome to Ex!

[Barbscloud]

Welcome to the Ex and come off of the fence.  There's never a perfect time to quit and they're will always be stressors.  I admit, the situation we're in doesn't make it any easier, but it would be the perfect thing to focus your energy on.  

Educate yourself about nicotine addiction.   Understanding that it is an addiction, is key to quitting.  And, create a quit plan.  My EX Plan | BecomeAnEX  What tools will you use?   We associate every thing in our lives with smoking.  What new behaviors will you substitute for of smoking?  Knowledge and preparation make quitting possible.  Use  what happened as a learning experience so it doesn't happen again.  This is a journey and we always need to be vigilant. 

And having the support from other quitters can make a real difference for many.   Just reach out anytime your need encouragement or want to share you'r experience.  We're here for you.

You can do this one day at time.

Barb

[YoungAtHeart]

Welcome to the community!

When you do the reading I will recommend, you will understand that smoking only calms the underlying stress created by the LAST cigarette you smoked - until it doesn't and you need to smoke another!  Most of us have found that our anxiety/stress  levels are actually much reduced when the push and pull of nicotine addiction is removed.  ANY time is a good time to quit smoking.  You will need to learn new, healthier coping skills and we can help with that!

The important thing you can do right now is to educate yourself on what nicotine does to your body and mind. To that end, I highly recommend Allen Carr's “The Easy Way to Stop Smoking.” This easy and entertaining read provided a world of good information about nicotine addiction, most of which I was not aware.  I credit it in large part with my success at quitting.   You can search for it online or at your local library.

 You should also read the posts here and perhaps go to the pages of folks who you think might be helpful. You might visit whyquit.com, quitsmoking.com and livewell.com for the good information contained there. @https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/groups/best-of-ex has lots of blogs written by members of this site with their experiences and guidance. Here is a video to inform you further about nicotine addiction: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IpWMgPHn0Lo&feature=youtu.be.

After you have completed the recommended reading, it will be time to make an informed choice of the quit aid, if any, you will use. If you go that route, I personally recommend the aids that don't let the addict control the dose such as the available prescription drugs or the patch. If used properly, gum, lozenges and inhalers are fine, but they need to be used only as a last resort after you have tried to delay and distract.   I have seen folks become addicted to them if they substitute them for every cigarette they used to smoke - just trading one addiction for another.  You need to start out with a plan to reduce use of them over time - which the patch does by decreasing the dose contained in them..  For the gum, you can start by cutting each piece in half, then in quarters, then sub regular gum of the same flavor in between, adding more and more regular gum.  For the lozenge, you need to start subbing a mint in between to begin, increasing the number of them over time. I do not recommend the e-cigarette for obvious reasons.

It will be informative if you do the tracking and separation exercises recommended here on the site. As you track each cigarette smoked, note its importance, and what you might do instead. Put each one off just a little to prove that you don't NEED a cigarette just because you think you do.
 

The idea is to change up your routines so the smoking associations are reduced.  Drink your coffee with your OTHER hand in a place different from when you smoked. Maybe switch to tea for a bit.  If you always had that first smoke with your coffee, try putting your tennies on right out of bed, going for a quick walk, then taking your shower and THEN your coffee! Rearrange the furniture in the areas you used to smoke so the view is different. Buy your gas at a different station. Take a different route to work. Take a quick walk at break time where the smokers AREN'T.
 
You need to distract yourself through any craves.  You can take a bite out of a lemon (yup - rind and all), put your head in the freezer and take a deep breath of cold air, do a few jumping jacks, go for a brisk walk or march in place, play a computer game.  Keep a cold bottle of water with you from which to sip. Don't let that smoking thought rattle around in your brain unchallenged. Sometimes you need to quit a minute or an hour at a time.  You will need to be disciplined in the early days to distract yourself when a crave hits.    Get busy!  Here is a link to a list of things to do instead of smoke if you need some fresh ideas:
 https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/blogs/Youngatheart.7.4.12-blog/2013/02/25/100-things-to-do-instea...

The conversation in your head in response to the "I want a cigarette" thought needs to be, "Well, since I have decided not to do that anymore, what shall I do instead for the three minutes this crave will last?"  Then DO it.  You will need to put some effort into this in the early days, but it gets easier and easier to do.

Stay close to us here and ask questions when you have them and for support when you need it. We will be with you every step of the way!

 Nancy

[rockngrohl]

Thanks Barb!  I plan on getting Alan Carr's book and I am going to posting and reading more posts for support.  

[noetoez]

In terms of stress, if you wait for the right time to quit, it will never happen. There will always be a reason why now isn't a good time. I beat myself up every cigarette I lit in the time of COVID. Let my daughter be on the Xbox more than I ever would before so she wouldn't come looking as I hid behind the garage to smoke. And my numbers were creeping up too.

A lot of people here have issues with anxiety and/or depression. I have dealt with anxiety and panic attacks since my teens. We tell ourselves that the cigarettes help us deal, but if we are truly honest with ourselves, they don't. They never really have. For me, they became just another source of guilt and then anxiety. 

I am on day 13 of my quit. Quitting during COVID has been rough, not gonna lie. A lot of the physical symptoms of quitting (chest tightness, anxiety) have been very difficult to deal with a respiratory disease going around. But everyone here, EVERYONE here, knows what that is like. Lots of people have tools to share based on their experiences, the goal is for all of us to succeed. Coming here and popping around, posting, reading, etc. has been a TON of help.

You can do it.

[sweetplt]

Hi and Welcome to Ex’s...rockngrohl 

There isn’t a good time to quit, but every moment is a good time to give up this addiction...Please read at My EX Plan | BecomeAnEX and plan your quit.  Then read here and learn about quitting and addiction.  List healthy things you will do in place of smoking.  /blogs/Maggie_quit_8-1-2010-blog/2012/03/19/100-things-to-do-instead-of-smoking?sr=search&searchId=3... I have General Anxiety disorder and found that quitting has helped it greatly, not to mention I had to learn other techniques which include, walking, breathing exercises, meditation, etc., You can do this...we are here to help you and support you...so keep close and remember the night before you quit smoking, rid all smoking paraphernalia.  ~ Colleen 598 DOF 

[SuzyQ411]

I hear you rockngrohl‌..I was always a "stress" smoker. But the thing is, smoking doesn't get rid of the stress. I came to realize that the stress-inducing issue was still there when I put out the butt. And that just made me more stressed. You are right, "I don't know if this is a good time to quit, but there never seems to be a good time." There never seems to be a good time. That's why we just have to step right up and name NOW as the time to start quit..no matter what! 

If we don't step up and claim this as the time to quit, we may never be at these crossroads again.

You've been given some excellent support and advice in the posts above.

I'll add just one last thing from my own experience. Following my relapse during the holidays of 2019 I read all I could get my hands on regarding addiction and recovery. AND, I read Alan Carr's book (which is free online as a pdf if you don't want to buy a copy from Amazon or wherever).

The great thing I felt right from the start is that Mr. Carr tells you to keep smoking while you read his book and not to quit until you have finished it. For me, that took off a lot of the stress that came from my thoughts of quitting smoking. (During this two-week period, I was smoking my brains out and had about doubled my usual use of cigarettes,)

But, lo and behold, when I was done with Carr's book I was ready to quit.

I now have over 9 months as a non-smoking ex-smoker. This is the longest I have ever gone without cigarettes. I find this so amazing as I had smoked for more than 60 years, many of them at 2 packs or more per day.

I wish you well and encourage you to do what you can to start a solid foundation for your quit. Who knows if you will have another quit in you if you don't start pretty soon?

Wishing you well~

Suzy

[rockngrohl]

Thank you Suzy!  I had no idea Carr's book was a free PDF- I'll download today!!

How do you actually follow a post so you can get to it easily?

[YoungAtHeart]

If you go to the original posting (click on title to get to it), see "Actions" top right?  Under that you can mark to follow the post. 

[SuzyQ411]

Hi rockngrohl‌..happy to see that Nancy YoungAtHeart‌ as answered your above question; I learned something new from her post: I would have said bookmark it. Am going to try following a post as Nancy explained 

[YoungAtHeart]

I have been here for YEARS and I am still learning!!!  There are so many things you can do, and ways to do them that it is not easy to follow sometimes.

You can always search with the magnifying glass (top right) for something you want to do and the answer should appear in the results.

[CommunityAdmin]

rockngrohl wrote:

Thank you Suzy!  I had no idea Carr's book was a free PDF- I'll download today!!

It's not legally free unless you borrow it from your library.  Allen Carr's books are copyrighted books so any PDF's you find online are not legally put there.  The books and ebook versions are available for a nominal fee through legitimate retailers so I encourage you to obtain a version legally to respect the work of the author.

rockngrohl wrote: 

How do you actually follow a post so you can get to it easily?

Any post you reply to will automatically subscribe you but you can manually subscribe via the directions provided.

Mark
EX Community Manager

[indingrl]

 TODAY is a GOOD day

[SuzyQ411]

Thank you Mark for this valuable imformation regarding the copyright issues of Alan Carr's online pdf book.