I had to reset my quit date this week. I went 17 weeks nicotine free and then smoked a few cigarettes as I was gagging and coughing with each cigarette. I don't know how many I smoked, a few, at one point I felt nausea and threw the pack away. It was not worth it, I let my stupid drama life dictate my justification to smoke a cigarette. Back to square one and I know this is God telling me to get it together because you already had it together the first time you threw the cigarettes away. Am I ashamed of myself, oh hell yes, did I tell anyone, just my husband, I'm so disgusted all I can say is that I am thankful I started feeling sick to my stomach trashed the cigarettes and learned my lesson.
Is it just me though, I went a little over four months, no cravings, just light up and use my stress and problems as an excuse, get sick from smoking and then the next day I am fine like nothing happened. I'm back to how I was before I ruined my smoke free life, I don't identify it with my life anymore.
If anyone is thinking about relapsing PLEASE DON'T its not worth it, even worse you could end up at square one - a dedicated smoker. I should have got on here first like I always have but I let all my excuses get in the way. Don't justify all the excuses for smoking a cigarette, its a LIE.
I did and look at me back to square one, what a bummer.
I don't plan on giving up because I intend to live a healthy smoke free life.
