I am mostly writing this down because my memory is beginning to fade…
I’ve worked too hard to get here and don’t want to forget.
I remember when:
I was taking it one hour at a time just to survive.
I envied smokers who were allowed to smoke. I couldn’t even be around them for fear of relapsing.
I used to fixate on cigarettes constantly. I thought I would never be able to stop thinking about them.
I was climbing the walls getting accustomed to doing things without smoking. Everything was a challenge.
I was always STRESSED OUT.
I was constantly struggling to get through craves many times each day.
The roller coaster of mood swings and feeling like I never knew which way I would be going next or how long it would last.
I was in a constantly depressed state with gloom and doom and darkness.
I felt I would never make it and wanted any excuse to go back just to make this stop.
Now:
The one day at a time is evolving into one week at a time.
I no longer view smokers as smokers. I view them as pitiful addicts who HAVE to get their fix. I empathize with them but am thankful to not be one of them. I can speak to them while they smoke and it doesn’t bother me.
I don’t really think of cigarettes per se unless I see someone smoking one. Cigarettes have become just another thing to me.
I have worked through the majority of my triggers and am comfortable without smoking. I know the triggers I haven’t addressed and will keep my guard up but will not allow this to interfere with enjoying life.
I am almost always calm. Any stress is usually very short-lived and easily within my abilities to control.
I hardly ever get craves anymore. When I do, it lasts a second and is dismissed like flicking a bug off my shirt. Craves are no longer a daily occurrence for me and like stress, are easily within my ability to control.
The roller coaster has leveled out substantially. The ups and downs are smooth and not extreme. Like a toy roller coaster for children. I live the ride in the moment and am grateful for the ups but will accept the downs when the time comes. I do not anticipate or worry about the downs but I do keep my guard up.
I am almost always positive and upbeat. I have learned to focus on the good and to share that with others. Keeping my spirits up is one of the main keys to winning this game.
I own this quit and am inclined to protect it. There is no going back. Period.
