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Giulia
Member

UNDERSTANDING EXCUSES

Anything your brain comes up with that tells you that you’re justified in smoking is simply an excuse.  Here are some examples

  1. I’m under a lot of stress right now because of... __________ fill in the blank
    1. my family - (spouse, ex spouse, father, niece, mother, nephew,  grandmother, brother, grandfather, uncle, sister, grandchild, cousin, mother-in-law .....)
    2. my job, boss, co-worker, lack of a job, too many jobs....
    3. my boyfriend, girlfriend, frogfriend (just wanted to see if you were payin’ attention lol), boyfriend’s ex, girlfriend’s mother....
    4. my roommate, my roommate’s friend, my roommate’s mother, my roommates dog...
    5. my exams, my certifications, my teacher, my advisor, my class mate...
    6. my pet, my vet, my vet’s nurse, my vet’s front desk person...
    7. my doctor, nurse, health care facility, billing office, dentist...
    8. my friend, arguments with a friend, my friend’s friend, my ex-friend, my friends ex- friend...my friend’s mother’s sister,
    9. my gas-fed ... car, tractor, weed wacker, leaf blower, snow mobile, jet ski, chain saw....
    10. my refrigerator, my garage door, my dishwasher, my toilet, my computer, my basement leak...
    11. my lack of sleep, my grief, my physical pain,
    12. my lack of money, loss of a purse, rude person at the supermarket, person who flipped me the bird at the stop light, insurance agent, realtor, banker, lawyer, indian chief, social security office, collections department, identity theft....
    13. politics, rednecks, liberals, conservatives, PACs, the IRS, the NSA, CNN, FOX,  Obama, Trump...
    14. Covid-19
    15. global warming, global cooling, climate changing....
  2. I need to smoke because of.....  (fill in the blank)                             
    1. death (unless it’s your own because you didn’t quit) of a friend, family member, pet or mass murder
    2. boredom, (I don’t know what to do except smoke)
    3. my bi-polar disorder, depression, elation, pain meds, constipation, expectoration,  elimination, anger, fear, sorrow, loneliness....
    4. I need comfort and only a cigarette can comfort me
    5. it's my reward
    6. don't wanna get fat: it's my way of keep weight off 
    7. it helps me relax
  3. I can't quit because.... (fill in the blank)
    1. It's harder for me
    2. my birthday, anniversary, graduation party, vacation - is coming up
    3. I'm not sure I'm ready
    4. nothing can replace the happiness a cigarette gives me
    5. it's my only friend in times of trouble
    6. I live with smokers
  4. I smoked because.....  (fill in the blank)
    1. I got  drunk, I forgot.
    2. I got drunk, I forgot,
    3. I got drunk, I forgot
    4. I didn’t follow the NOPE Doctrine even though I knew I should
    5. I didn’t seek support and thought I could do it on my own
    6. I wanted to just see what one tasted like after all this time
    7. I was with a friend/family member and I couldn’t resist the temptation
    8. I was out with my buddies and they all smoked
    9. I became complacent and thought I had it in the bag
    10. I wanted to test myself
    11. I let life "get to me"
    12. I didn’t think

If you check any one of those boxes then you either haven’t done your homework or you’ve not made a commitment to quit.  Because if you have, NOTHING will prevent you from maintaining it.  NOTHING.  Well, except it you’re drunk.  Commitment means squat if you’re drunk because you aren’t in your normal right mind.  But if you ARE - then the rest is a choosing.  Choosing to smoke.  

 

Are you getting the message here?  There is NOTHING in your mind that should allow you to smoke once you have made the commitment to quit.   ANYTHING that causes you to put a cigarette in your mouth is an excuse to continue the addiction.  Recognize the thought for what it is - an excuse -  and eliminate it immediately.  You came to this site to help you quit.  Number one lesson - recognize and ditch the excuses.

 

Commitment means no smoking No Matter What.

 

Here's a link to another blog on Junkie Thinking - Excuses to Smoke.

 

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Addendum 1/30/17

Recognize that any reason you can come up with to delay your quit date, like "I wasn't ready,"  is also an excuse.  Don't justify why you CAN'T, rather elaborate convincingly on  how you CAN and embrace your choice.
 

Labels (2)
68 Replies
autumnpepper
Member

Thank you.  I saved it to my home screen. 

0 Kudos
Giulia
Member

happy smiley face smiley

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Ballgame89
Member

Thank you...I am going to need to read this a lot. 

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Mammad01
Member

I am 5 days smoke free, but I am looking for any excuse to smoke! I haven't but my brain sure wants me too.

0 Kudos

Start saying "I don't do that anymore" when you think of smoking. It will retrain your thinking quickly 

Giulia
Member

Ah yes, that's our addicted brain screaming.  You're already on top of it because you're AWARE that everything you're coming up with IS an excuse.  Awareness is the first step in conquering this monster.  Here's an example of the kind of brain chatter I went through when I quit.  /blogs/Giulia-blog/2016/09/06/a-quit-dialogue-in-iv-acts?sr=search&searchId=7528c21b-3187-4868-80eb-...‌  As you read through it, you'll see how it gradually changed.  I got to know my addict brain really well and understand the games and tricks it would play to get me to give in.  Pay no never mind to that child within.  https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/people/Jdeering/blog/2019/09/07/what-is-it-like-quitting-what-is-...   In two days you will have a week under your belt.  Do you know how many wish they could get that far?  Rejoice and keep going!  Mammad01

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Bonnie
Member

First time reading this.  Great advice, best advice ever for us "emotional relapsers".  I'll have two years as an EX tomorrow (had to look it up to be sure) but I bookmarked this today in case I ever start sliding down that slippery slope.  Thanks, Giulia!

Giulia
Member

Glad, Bonnie, that it spoke to you.  I, unfortunately, or fortunately keep adding to the list of excuses each time someone relapses with a new one.  If there are /blogs/Youngatheart.7.4.12-blog/2013/02/25/100-things-to-do-instead-of-smoke?sr=search&searchId=75ca... , someone will find 102 reasons to keep smoking.  Kudos on your two years tomorrow!

Karen333
Member

Love this!

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Giulia
Member

Glad.