UNDERSTANDING EXCUSES

[Giulia]

Anything your brain comes up with that tells you that you’re justified in smoking is simply an excuse.  Here are some examples

1. I’m under a lot of stress right now because of... __________ fill in the blank
   1. my family - (spouse, ex spouse, father, niece, mother, nephew,  grandmother, brother, grandfather, uncle, sister, grandchild, cousin, mother-in-law .....)
   2. my job, boss, co-worker, lack of a job, too many jobs....
   3. my boyfriend, girlfriend, frogfriend (just wanted to see if you were payin’ attention lol), boyfriend’s ex, girlfriend’s mother....
   4. my roommate, my roommate’s friend, my roommate’s mother, my roommates dog...
   5. my exams, my certifications, my teacher, my advisor, my class mate...
   6. my pet, my vet, my vet’s nurse, my vet’s front desk person...
   7. my doctor, nurse, health care facility, billing office, dentist...
   8. my friend, arguments with a friend, my friend’s friend, my ex-friend, my friends ex- friend...my friend’s mother’s sister,
   9. my gas-fed ... car, tractor, weed wacker, leaf blower, snow mobile, jet ski, chain saw....
   10. my refrigerator, my garage door, my dishwasher, my toilet, my computer, my basement leak...
   11. my lack of sleep, my grief, my physical pain,
   12. my lack of money, loss of a purse, rude person at the supermarket, person who flipped me the bird at the stop light, insurance agent, realtor, banker, lawyer, indian chief, social security office, collections department, identity theft....
   13. politics, rednecks, liberals, conservatives, PACs, the IRS, the NSA, CNN, FOX,  Obama, Trump...
   14. Covid-19
   15. global warming, global cooling, climate changing....
2. I need to smoke because of.....  (fill in the blank)                             
   1. death (unless it’s your own because you didn’t quit) of a friend, family member, pet or mass murder
   2. boredom, (I don’t know what to do except smoke)
   3. my bi-polar disorder, depression, elation, pain meds, constipation, expectoration,  elimination, anger, fear, sorrow, loneliness....
   4. I need comfort and only a cigarette can comfort me
   5. it's my reward
   6. don't wanna get fat: it's my way of keep weight off 
   7. it helps me relax
3. I can't quit because.... (fill in the blank)
   1. It's harder for me
   2. my birthday, anniversary, graduation party, vacation - is coming up
   3. I'm not sure I'm ready
   4. nothing can replace the happiness a cigarette gives me
   5. it's my only friend in times of trouble
   6. I live with smokers
4. I smoked because.....  (fill in the blank)
   1. I got  drunk, I forgot.
   2. I got drunk, I forgot,
   3. I got drunk, I forgot
   4. I didn’t follow the NOPE Doctrine even though I knew I should
   5. I didn’t seek support and thought I could do it on my own
   6. I wanted to just see what one tasted like after all this time
   7. I was with a friend/family member and I couldn’t resist the temptation
   8. I was out with my buddies and they all smoked
   9. I became complacent and thought I had it in the bag
   10. I wanted to test myself
   11. I let life "get to me"
   12. I didn’t think

If you check any one of those boxes then you either haven’t done your homework or you’ve not made a commitment to quit.  Because if you have, NOTHING will prevent you from maintaining it.  NOTHING.  Well, except it you’re drunk.  Commitment means squat if you’re drunk because you aren’t in your normal right mind.  But if you ARE - then the rest is a choosing.  Choosing to smoke.  

Are you getting the message here?  There is NOTHING in your mind that should allow you to smoke once you have made the commitment to quit.   ANYTHING that causes you to put a cigarette in your mouth is an excuse to continue the addiction.  Recognize the thought for what it is - an excuse -  and eliminate it immediately.  You came to this site to help you quit.  Number one lesson - recognize and ditch the excuses.

Commitment means no smoking No Matter What.

Here's a link to another blog on Junkie Thinking - Excuses to Smoke.

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Addendum 1/30/17

Recognize that any reason you can come up with to delay your quit date, like "I wasn't ready,"  is also an excuse.  Don't justify why you CAN'T, rather elaborate convincingly on  how you CAN and embrace your choice.
 

[Giulia]

Oh Carolyn, I am so sorry about your brother.  And it is particularly poignant that you say he smoked to the end.  YOU however, won't.  You now have over four months smoke free.  Also very potent is what you say about the tool you use to stave back cravings.  And that is to visualize his face at the end.  That, I can imagine, would be a very potent tool.  I think somewhere in our quit plan, there's a place to put such things to help us when we're having cravings.  If I can find it, I'll let you know.  Because that will be a good one to add.  Time will heal the pain and visuals associated with your brothers passing.  And that's a GOOD thing.  A needed thing.  A healing thing.  But it's also a tool for future use, when the pain has passed and those awful last visual memories fade.  

The day my husband's best friend (and best man at our wedding) called and said he had lung cancer, my husband put down his pack of cigarette and never smoked again.  That pack is still up in our "museum" room with the cigarettes left in it that he never smoked.  Instead of what may have been a temptation to some, (that pack with a few cigarettes left in it) it was a resolve to never smoke again.  Perhaps that statement - some of us must die in order for some of us to quit - is true.  

" I monitor my thoughts and choices."  With that and right choices as your bedrock, you cannot fail.  My condolences for your loss.

[JonesCarpeDiem]

I'm sorry for your loss. 

[Barb102]

How can I save this so I can send it and print it. ?

barb 

[crazymama_Lori]

under actions at the top of the blog on the right-hand side, select view as PDF.  from there you have the option to print or save to your device

[Giulia]

You can also bookmark it by clicking on Actions (upper right), then selecting Bookmark.

Thanks Lori.  crazymama_Lori‌.  Didn't know about the PDF possibility.

[Mike.n.Atlanta]

Going back to commitment Giulia. If they've made a true commitment they would understand how getting drunk can destroy a quit & would give it up for a short while until they were more secure in their quit. Hope that made sense.

KOKO,

[Lauralives]

It is all true.  Commitment is all there is. Period.  Now I have to do it.  Thanks!  Laura

[autumnpepper]

Thank you.  I needed to read this.  I'm quiting on Oct.18th.  

[Giulia]

Good.  autumnpepper  Re-read it.  Every time you think you have a reason to smoke - re-read it.  It might just give you pause that will keep you from relapse.  There is no reason to smoke, there are only excuses to do so.  Well, once you have the education.  Until then, there's every qualified reason to smoke.  Keep reading.  Keep leaning.  /blogs/Giulia-blog/2018/03/01/quitting-is-a-skill-that-can-be-learned?sr=search&searchId=4da304f6-d7...‌