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The Two Sets Of Seasons

      Many of you are going through No Mans Land Right Now (Days 30-130)

This is the second hurdle of a longtime/forever quit. The first hurdle is getting through the first 30 days.

      When I quit, I was constantly researching information for when you were through the worst of quitting. One medical study I read during that time, said it you made it through 4 months without smoking you had the best chance of a forever quit.

      Along with that study, I noticed there were so many people losing their quit and dropping off the site I was on before reaching four months.

      I had my personal breakthrough at 128 days when I was driving up a hill to a job I had still been a smoker on.

      I reached for a ghost pack and realized I was no longer a smoker. I laughed.

      The term No Mans Land came from the person (Ron Maxey) who wrote a powerful post and gave it that title on the site I quit on.

      No Mans Land Will Be Over For Many around 130 days. For some it's longer/For some slightly less.

      We smoked for a long time and we can't expect to have experienced every trigger in the first 130 days.

      We have many memories that are connected to smoking that we must  unlearn by making new ones without smoking.

Let's talk about two sets of seasons.

      I suggest to you that you have to go through two sets of holidays and seasons. During these two years you will likely experience a family blowup, the infidelity of a spouse/partner, a car accident, and the death of a pet or someone close to you that would normally set you off.  In other words, the hard parts of life.

Example: You have a relative that ticks you off and they are missing from your first annual get together. Well, they may be at the second years so, that's the implication of what getting through 2 years means. 

      The one thing to remember is, smoking is not required. You know if you smoke, you will be a smoker again.

      After your first year, your quit should not be such a fight anymore

unless you've fought quitting all along. There may still be some fleeting thoughts of smoking but they are now easily dismissed.

You smoked a long time. It will fade away. Be patient.

Nothing and no one can make you smoke! You are in charge.

STATISTICS: While roughly 94% of uneducated smokers who attempt to stop smoking relapse within a year, the relapse rate declines to just 2 to 4% per year from years 2 to 10, and then falls to less than 1% after 10 years. Wow! Chance of relapse goes from 94% to 2-4% after two years.

http://whyquit.com/FFN/chapters/FFN_14_Relapse_P.pdf

Tags (1)
47 Replies
TerrieQuit
Member

Thanks for this post Dale. I thought I had read all the stuff from your page, not this! On pg 4 more reading to do

Terrie 64 DOF

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Zendlewise
Member

Hi Dale.  i am still here reading all I can that may help me, and wanted to especially thank you for warning me early on about the herbal smokes.  I did give them up, because what you said did make sense, and I have missed them a lot.  But in missing them I only realized that the 'act of smoking' is what i am fighting now----not the nicotine---which has long ago left my body.   I did save 2 if them bck (just in case)  but I do realize this is part of the process of quitting smoking.   I regret using them because I will probably be in nml longer, but at least I am here and still free of nictine .  

katherine_att
Member

I just wanted to ask, what are you referring to By No Man's Land ????????????

I feel as thou I am in this 🙂 Day87 ..... Nearly 3-months

But what exactly is ur definition and or experience of this ?? Is it documented anywhere else? Is it the feelings and/or experience/s u go thru::: on ur voyage or journey to Quit??
Thanks,

Katherine

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It's in the first 4+ months that I see most people give up and disappear.

https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/blogs/jonescarp.aka.dale.Jan_2007-blog/2011/05/24/no-mans-land-da... 

victory
Member

I'm so scare! I have quit 2 times the frist time was 10months and the second time was 4months, I used the patch for 10 days with the frist quit and for 3 days with the second.  I am constantly thinking about how to stop again? My Daughter, also  smokes and I feel so guilty..... That My nasty habit is now consumed her SMH........ She's 26 and now back living with me I can't stand the stench and the smell of the smoke on her it drives me nuts......... We do not smoke in the House and I do not smoke in my car however, she does and it just totally bothers me..... I know  the smell is on me also but maybe not as strong? Im not a heavy smoker and smoke about 4-5 Cigs per day my daughter however smokes double the amount I need to know how do you stop when you live with a smoker??? Please Help❤

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CommunityAdmin
Community Manager
Community Manager

Welcome back victory‌.  Be sure you update your quit date at My EX Plan | BecomeAnEX .  Then Logout(use this link after it's updated) and back in and it will update on the community as well.

Smoking Partners‌ might have some information from others.  Searches like https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/search.jspa?q=roommate%20smokes  might also come up with advice shared by others.

Mark
EX Community Manager

EX Community Admin Team
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Maybe you need to sit her down and tell  her how it hurts you to think you got her involved with smoking and see if you can quit together? That will plant the seed. Then make a plan that supports one another.  We will support both of you here and take you through the process.

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elvan
Member

Become a part of this community, PLAN your quit, lean on the people here...we were pretty much all scared and some of us quit over and over again before we got it right.  Talk to your daughter and tell her that you know you can help each other with this ADDICTION, it is not a habit, it is an addiction and, as such, we need to work to recover one day, one experience at a time.  If she is not interested in quitting, you have to take care of yourself.  YOU quit and maybe she will follow that track.  If the smell of her smoke bothers you, put a little dab of Vicks under your nose, it helps to block the smell.  I am a little confused about the car though...does she smoke in YOUR car?  I would immediately put a stop to that...off limits.  No smoking in the house or the car and it would be nice if she understood that the smell bothers you.  She needs to understand that you need support to be successful...certainly, she will want to provide that.  Figure out why your quits failed and then plan for whatever you think made that happen.  Why did you only use the patch for such short periods of time?  I didn't use any NRT but I think that if you do, following the instructions might help.  In any event, we are here and there is no one who has not had a day one...there is no one (that I know of) who was not afraid of failure.

Welcome...BACK?

Ellen

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Jamesjb
Member

Smoking is not required in now on my phone screen to see all the time. Thank you.

rbrown53
Member

I have tried to stop several times over a 45 year period, the longest that I stopped was for three months using the cold turkey technique the cravings never did decrease, how do I overcome them?

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