No Man's Land Weekly Blog -- The Forever Quit

[SarahP]

We do this blog every Wednesday afternoon to offer encouragement to those in No Man’s Land -- months 2-3-4 of a quit, give or take a couple of weeks. This community has chosen to put a big, bright spotlight on NML – we’ve chased away the shadows, taken away the mystery, and put a lot of effort into bringing people in NML together. Because we understand that quitting isn’t over in a month.

Everyone who goes through NML blazes a trail for those that follow. You are not alone on this journey, and you never will be!

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This week’s topic: The Forever Quit

As you near the end of No Man’s Land (day 130 or so), it’s time to start thinking about what comes next. It’s time to start making plans and commitments about your long-term quit maintenance.

No one wakes up one morning and says “gee, I think I’ll relapse today.” No one in month 3 of a strong quit thinks their motivation will ever fade. But we hear from people all the time who relapsed after a year, 2 years, 5 years, or even longer.

I believe the root of long-term relapse is forgetting two very important lessons -- first, we forget that we cannot have just one, because for addicts like us, one always leads to one more. Second, we forget that we did not enjoy smoking. We smoked to avoid the pain of not smoking. We smoked to stop withdrawal. It wasn’t enjoyable, it didn’t taste good, and it wasn’t relaxing – those are the lies of addiction.

We learned these lessons painfully – with sweat and tears – when we quit. But as time passes it becomes easier and easier to forget, to minimize, to rationalize.

Right now you have committed to quit smoking, but have you committed to never smoke again? Two years from now when you get really bad news, or are at the beach watching the sunset and the smoker next to you says “want one?” – what will you do? Will you remember the pain of quitting?  Will you remember the lessons you learned? Will you remember how to distract/dismiss/kick it to the curb? Will NOPE (not one puff ever) still be in your heart?

Plan it, practice it, be ready for it. The lessons you are learning right now, in No Man’s Land, are the lessons you need to carry with you and never take for granted. The Forever Quit is within your reach!

                                                                                                                                                            

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If you're in NML right now, speak up!  Tell us how you're doing! 

Click here to read the original No Man’s Land blog on Dale's page:
https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/blogs/jonescarp.aka.dale.Jan_2007-blog/2011/05/24/no-mans-land-da...

[katherineu]

It's not to early a few weeks ago I realized that I went a day or so without thinking of a cigarette but right now I think about a cigarette everyday.  I don't have desire to smoke, the thought of a cigarette comes and goes throughout the day and puts me in a bad mood if I let it.  I do look forward to the day that I don't think about cigarettes ever again!

[JonesCarpeDiem]

Those realizations that you didn't even think of smoking should prove something to you. They should prove that this thinking of smoking everyday WON'T LAST. That;'s why I asked you. But Realize that's why NML isn't over yet. Nancy had her worst day in NML at 111 days. Keep heading Onward and Upward!

[Cimstrong]

So I have made it to no man's land! It has proved to be as they say. I'm just at 59 days and I find myself at the oddest time really wanting a cigarette. I feel at times I'm hanging by a thread and most of the time I feel good.

I was able to bring some family members with me on this journey and so just one more reason I am to remain smoke free and pave the way, but there are those times I feel I will break. But I hold my NOPE, and treasure my Quit,but I think I at times need that lifeline. Since I was the first in my group to quit , I find myself looking for that rope Infront of me . Not sure if that makes sense or not. Kind of like, I'll lead the way for them,but at the end of my day, I'm not sure who I can turn to. The last thing I want my sister to see is my tears,fears,and frustrations, I know it will pass ,but I think she will cave to soon if she see my struggle. It's worth every step of the way, I'm just looking for someone to lead the way for me I guess. 

[JonesCarpeDiem]

It will pass in the same way the loss of someone does, in time. We repeated it so often that the tentacles don't want to release but, they will. Hang in there. Write the word help in the title of a blog if you ever are at a breaking point and someone will come running.

Have you seen my post about how to break any crave?

https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/thread/6592-the-senses-can-override-your-thinking 

[Cimstrong]

No I have not,but I shall. Thanks.

[JonesCarpeDiem]

https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/thread/6592-the-senses-can-override-your-thinking 

[tedrhew]

https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/people/tedrhew/blog/2020/03/03/100 
Thank You for all of the information here and I hope it's appropriate that I share my 100 day blog here. If not allowed let me know and I'll remove it or feel free to delete.

[JonesCarpeDiem]

I'm glad it helped you. The time frame is so important and no one stresses that enough 

[tedrhew]

Yes! When I read it I was like, "Oh My Goodness! This is ME!" The exact time I would relapse every time was in this time frame never knowing why until now. I'm still in that "land" right now but as of the moment I DO see light and the end of the tunnel and I also know that - to be careful lest I fall. 
Thank You for sharing your insight with the World, Sir! I know I sure do appreciate it!

[JonesCarpeDiem]

Congratulations on 100+ days.

Look at the days you didn't think of smoking as PROOF OF LIFE without smoking