It is day 3 in progress. I have not quit yet, but it is day three of making changes that will slowly set me up for success. I usually try to avoid planning things out. I'm more of a, "go with the flow" type person who actually functions better in high-stress environments. This though, this is not something I feel like I need to fly by the seat of my pants with. This is 25 years of habit and addiction. I started working on my why's on day one. You know, the reasons that I can remind myself of when I want to pick up a smoke. Yes, I am still smoking as I work toward my quit date but as I do, I have started thinking to myself while smoking. In the moment, I ask myself...What are you getting from this? Is this really helping? I also think of the bad side. This taste really bad. There are ashes falling on my shirt. Ugh...the smell. It's time to stop seeing the smoke break as a good thing and really start trying to associate the negative aspect of smoking with each puff that I take. It's a mind game of sorts. I've always believed that smoking is a relief, a nerve calmer, a break. No more. The relief I get, the nerve calmer, the break, need to come from somewhere else. It's time to replace the smoke break with something more productive, meaningful and positive. As I move forward in my journey, I have to realize that it is not just smoking that is holding me back. There are many aspects of my life that need to be adjusted and smoking is just one of them. So to me, this journey is not just about smoking. It is about self-love and growth. It's about becoming the person that I want to be, free. Over the past year now, I have already started making changes for me. That's right. For me. At some point in my life, I stopped focusing on myself and put all my efforts into others. In my personal life, in my work life, everywhere. This has lead me down a path that I now find I must walk through thorns to get out of. Thorns that have already scratched me and a few times made me bleed, but it's a walk that I have to take to get my life back. To not be controlled by anything more than my desire for happiness. Not by cigarettes, not by food and not by people. Realistically, I know that this will be a work in progress for some time. I didn't get this way over-night so I sure as heck am not going to change over-night. What I do know, is I am ready. More so now than I feel I have ever been.
Celebrate the small things -
Know why I want this
- Improve my health and general well being
- No longer worry about odor
- A clean car!! Well, for the most part
- Not have to interrupt time with others for a smoke break
- No more ash smudges on my clothes!
- Stay inside when it is cold or hot outside!
Like I said, work in progress!