...as I begin this post, ya'll. Nine days, four hours, and 59 minutes. Yahoo!
Yesterday and today have been all about ups and downs and deep desires for you know whats. Ugh.
I haven't had nic gum since Wednesday. Today is Friday. So that explains that, doesn't it? Duh. Now I am in real withdrawal. For realz. It's not FUN! And it's Friday. And yesterday at the store I bought all the makings for awesome tequila drink without even thinking that was a bad idea. For me, booze and smoke go together like Donnie and Marie. Or Captain and Tennille (sp?). Or Sonny and Cher. Or Me and Mini Me Or...Anyway...you get it. I put a couple of the ingredients in the frig. Perhaps I could have them as mocktails. Oh boy. Geez, Beev. That sounds lousy.
I'm into this new thing that I've now done twice. Once since my quit. Pull-A-Part. I harvested some parts for my dear ol car. It was fun for me. Odd, I know. Places I thought I would never go. But there I am. Tools and all.
Driving home, feeling proud. Was struck dumb by a craving as I drove past my beer and smoke store. I experienced true longing. There was grief. It was difficult not to turn around. I considered a u-turn in traffic! I didn't do it.
I got home. Shed the greasy, grimy clothes. Put on some softer, gentler stuff. Tucked myself in for a long afternoon nap.
That helped. Craving, of course, passed.
This AM it waited for me to get up. I did another thing different. Took doggie to a different park instead of our regular walking route. That was fun. She gets everything off my mind. I get focused on her. Too much so, probably. But that can't be bad. Giving her my love is good. She hates cigs. Really hates the FIRE. And Stink. And second-hand smoke.
Anyway. It's been a half of Friday. Time now is 12:55 OM Central. I'm not out of the rising creek just yet. But I have one foot stuck down in some sturdy mud. And I'm grabbing a tree for dear life. Freedom for today--here I come!
Hang in there, ya'll. I sure need you!
Thank you.
RP
