Well, this morning has been...challenging. I didn't sleep great last night (I think I got maybe 3 hours of sleep total). Just a lot on my mind...financial stress, and the heatwave that is baking LA right now didn't help. Plus my dog kept waking me up and wouldn't settle down. So I'm here, at work, pretending to work (LOL) and having strange cravings out of nowhere. The devil on my shoulder keeps whispering "just one cigarette..." and in my mind I keep shouting "NOPE!!!" No Man's Land is a struggle at times. I don't want to scare any of you newbies, just want you to be prepared for what you have in store for you when you get to the NML milestone in your journey. None of this has been easy today. But I'm staying strong, digging my heels in and whatever happens, I will NOT smoke. But between the lack of sleep and stress, and worrying about my dog's health, there is a lot going on. In the past, I would have given in by now if all of these things were happening. But this time, I am going to be bullet-proof. And there is so much love and support here, and so many great health benefits to not bringing that poison back into my body and my life. I'm saving money, I'm breathing easier, normally sleeping better (except for last night...) and overall I feel amazing not breathing that toxicity into my lungs. And I'm no spring chicken...I'm 45, and it is time to be rid of smoking for once and for all. I've seen too many people I love die from smoking--my great aunt had COPD and was on oxygen the last few years of her life, smoked for over 50 years so by the time she quit it was "too late"; a great aunt on the other side of my family had several strokes, mini-strokes, and didn't quit until it was "too late." My second cousin succumbed to severe pneumonia complicated by smoking, and the irony was that she was quit for a long time, and toward the end of her life picked up the sticks again. And the damage was done, and it was "too late." These are just a few of the people I know who have gotten killed by this addiction. Nicotine is a temptress for sure...thankfully I haven't given in, and I don't plan to this time. I don't want to be another one taken by this addiction because it was "too late."
What I have learned in all of this is that it's never too late. Never too late to kick that unforgiving bitch Nicotine to the curb, to put on your big girl panties and fight with all that you have to get your life, your health back. Our health is one of the most precious gifts that we are given when we come into this world. That's why when anything could potentially harm or compromise that gift, we have to do everything in our power to preserve it. Without health, we have nothing. And something preventable, like quitting smoking, is paramount and we must fight with every fiber of our being to keep that nasty girl Nicotine out of our life! So I tell all of you, right here, right now...I will not smoke. No matter how hard things get, no matter what obstacles come in my life's path (and there have been a lot with this coronavirus), I will stay strong and stay quit. Who is with me? Thank you to everyone who has had my back in this journey--way too many people to mention in this blog but you know who you are. Like birds in chevron formation, we will strengthen each other in this journey. Because it is SO, SO worth it. Well, back to work I go. Love to everyone reading this today.
