The energy burst I had the other afternoon, burst and then fled. I am just so tired.
It's grey and rainy today--although warmer. I actually like this weather typically, but today it is more reflective of my mood.
I know a cigarette will not make me feel better--I mean, the dopamine buzz may momentarily, but the ensuring guilt and disappointment won't be worth it. But, I have had a habit of doing those kinds of things most of my life--the momentary, fleeting sense of feeling "good" or worthwhile would supersede the inevitable crash. I did that with cigarettes, men, drinking, spending money etc. Well, I managed to get over doing that with men and booze and money, but the cigs held on. So, I still feel that same pull towards them.
I just want to go back to bed and turn today off, but alas, things to do, people to see, places to go. Sigh.
It's all part of the process. Your body is adjusting to life without its drug, and you are learning to deal with your moods and emotions out from behind a cloud of smoke. It's a lot with which to deal - and it's not easy.
Be patient. When this journey is over, you will be filled with a sense of peace, self confidence, and will generally be far less stressed. It's worth the time and effort needed - I promise!
Hang in there!
Nancy