Hi Everyone,
Today is my 191st day of being smoke free. Not only can I officially say that I am smoke free, but I am also free, FREE.
My journey to becoming a non-smoker was the hardest thing I have ever accomplished. It took all of my strength physically and emotionally. While I still think I have some adjusting and perfecting to do, I finally feel stable and “normal.” I feel relieved.
Luckily, through this website I met someone who has been an amazing partner in this experience, as well as a great friend. Without her, I’m not sure I would have made it. A big part of that is because her and I had a different quitting experience than we were told we would have. Because of this we bonded. Most of the information out there regarding quitting is pigeon holed and narrow minded in my opinion. The many, many articles we both read and the resources we reached out to told us our symptoms would be gone within weeks and that a little sadness was normal. Anything beyond that, we were told to see doctors, psychiatrists, and therapists. We were told “maybe you need medication”. While all of these suggestions came with good intentions, it did nothing but make us feel abnormal and mentally ill. My quit buddy and I thought, “well I guess we can’t cope with life without smoking”. Maybe we are weird and messed up. Maybe we should just keep smoking. No one seemed to want to acknowledge what a life changing decision we had made, and that yes, of course it would create tidal waves in our lives. Yes, it was hard and no, we weren’t abnormal or crazy, in reality all it took was time, patience, faith and perseverance.
My quit buddy and I experienced emotional devastation when we quit. We spent most of our lives smoking. We trained ourselves and our brains to need it. Maybe we both used smoking as a crutch for stress and anxiety reduction or as a break from our surroundings. Maybe we used it for comfort, a routine of familiarity. Why ever we did it, when we took it away, we were distraught. What we learned though, is that a time-limit should not be taken as gospel. A time frame should not be given to feeling healed after quitting. It is different for everyone. Some people it will take 3 weeks, some people it will take a year. Some people will struggle with craving, some with irritability, anger, hunger and the list goes on… For my friend and I, it was that we became super familiar with depression, anxiety and hopelessness for 6 months. The “symptoms” and timing is different for everyone.
My point is not to discourage here. It is quite the opposite. If my friend and I could have read something like this, maybe it would have felt a litter easier to keep hanging on. It may feel like you will never be out of the woods, but you will be. Don’t be distracted by the norm, focus on yourself. It will end. You will feel like you again. Be patient, be persistent, and don’t compare your quit journey with anyone else. Peace will come. My beautiful friend and I are the proof. If I can be of any help to anyone, please reach out.
