Today, while teaching online, I felt a sharp pain in my heart, and an almost simultaneous dizziness. It happened 3 times, terrifyingly. I ended the class early, awkwardly. I walked around. What scares me is the thought of "dropping dead". Not going softly at the end of my life, in bed and with my hand held; that doesn't scare me. It's the BOOM lights-out scenario. Hello! I'm usually Miss Sunshine; just that today this thing happened and I don't know what to do.
I haven't smoked for 6 days. I'm in the process of trying to quit. I have marvelled at the difference in my body even in just those 6 days, but then this heart pain thing. Yikes.
Funny; I was thinking, near the end of my class, that I might go buy a pack and just have ONE . After all, I was feeling better; less coughing (allergies, of course) and mucus (oh, that's bronchitis caused by the allergies), and of course, the urges have been fierce all week. I keep telling the little bastard: "O.K. Tomorrow we'll take a walk to the mini-mart."
So today was going to be the tomorrow, but now I'm listening to my heart, the real physical heart, rather than that little nicotine-bastard.
Turns out, God's not gonna make an exception in my case. So here goes. I'm doing this. Thanks guys. I need you.
