I hate what you have done to me. For so many years, you have locked me in a personal prison.
You have lied to me over and over again. You told me that I couldn't live life without you.
You told me you were my friend and that you would celebrate with me during the great times. I believed you and chose you during those times.
You told me that I needed you when conflicts came up and that you would help me. I believed you and chose you.
You told me that you would comfort me when I was down and sad. I believed you and chose you.
You told me that I couldn't raise my kids without you and that parenting would be easier with you. I believed you and chose you.
You are a liar and a poison. I've never needed you. You've never helped me.
You twisted my perceptions and kept me from learning how to manage life in a healthy way.
You hurt my body. You let me starve myself by choosing you over food. I am a diabetic now. Yes, this is hereditary but I am sure you have played your part. I can't run anymore or go walking without gasping for air in a matter of seconds.
You've kept me from truly building my new friendships because I can't take you with me. You've made me afraid to give my non-smoking friends hugs because I don't want them to smell me that close.
You let me push my kids away when they wanted hugs and cuddles because you were there. I hope they don't think I love you more.
I can't live like this anymore! Our relationship has to end. I chose you but I don't have to choose you! I have given myself a release date and I am setting myself free from this prison.
I've kept it from you for awhile but you must know now. On, March 14, 2019 - I am going to wake up a non-smoker. I am going to wake up free and able to enjoy all the things you have kept me from.
The Woman Who Doesn't Need You