I was just toodling along for the past two weeks enjoying my quit thinking it was feeling pretty easy this time but TODAY was an ever growing snowball of aggravation that brought the cravings on hard. I dropped my phone as I was coming back in from my late lunch and shortly thereafter it completely went on the fritz and became completely unusable. I quickly realized that I don't know any of my email or social media passwords and the only other way to retrieve them is by having a code sent to....your phone. So, I finally get enough information to start filing the insurance claim and that has been SO INCREDIBLY FRUSTRATING between the website not recognizing the shipping address as valid and then my card not being accepted for I-don't-even-know-why. Whatever, I had to give up at the moment so I could dash over to a Dr. appointment, though I did very little dashing in the inexplicably horrible traffic (because it was raining...in Seattle) to sit and wait for my Dr. for 40 minutes past my appointment time. I actually went to leave and collect my copay but she came out to grab me herself and was quite apologetic so I stuck around and caught up with her about the changes I've been making. She's going to give me a referral to a Behavioral Health Specialist and that would probably be pretty helpful for my anxiety stuff but I'm not really sure my insurance covers it.
Anywho, I came home to fire up the laptop so I could use Skype to call the insurance company again and attempted to pay over the phone but it failed again and now the claim is completely locked down for review (???) and where I originally would have been able to get the phone tomorrow, now it could take 24 hours just for the review.
I have had to tell myself a lot today that smoking will not fix any of these situations. A LOT. I've had to remind myself frequently this afternoon and evening that all of this crud would still be there, not reduced or changed in any way. I guess I'm okay now - the ranting here definitely helped but I feel pretty humbled tonight. I've been reminded I'm not always going to be easily skating through this and I will be tested, most likely for the rest of my life...Hopefully a bit more sporadically as time goes on, you know?
I'm going to eat my favorite snack as dinner, watch Norsemen, cuddle with my kitties and let today go.