Not a day passes where I don't have a thought of smoking, particularly when I feel a little down. All of my quit aids - sayings, notes around my house, especially pledging every day, have kept me off the smokes. And I know, I remember, how awful they smell, taste, alienate, yet for the first time I can remember, I ask myself, am I experiencing a feeling of loneliness? What the heck is that? I've always loved my lone time, peace and quiet, I reach out when I want company and that is satisfying; now I feel a wee bit lost, often weepy - is this No Man's Land? It would be a good description of how I feel despite my accomplishments. I had a fabulous birthday week and all my friends happy for me, yet I feel a little sad. I reached my super goal with the mountain yet sank into a big funk the same afternoon. Anticlimactic! My brain says snap out of it but my body says why? I'm tired. I'm tired of all the changes that seem to be happening, I just want sleep lately - I thought that by now I would feel more positive change. Such contradictions going on with me today. I have to remind myself - This Too Will Pass! So hurry up already, I don't like this place!
