I thought it was a good idea to stop smoking last night at midnight. It might have been a good idea but it didn’t work out the way I envisioned. I woke up this morning feeling very anxious and craving a smoke. I took the dog for a walk and found some butts I hadn’t thrown away. By 8:30am, I was smoking one. I stumbled and I needed to decide the best way to proceed. Sleeping kept me from smoking but it’s during my waking hours when I’m faced with having to make a choice that matters. I couldn’t leave the house to get cigarettes due to a parade. It gave me time to ride it out but I became obsessed with having a cigarette. The butt may have taken the edge off but it wasn’t satisfying and I didn’t want it to be my last memory of smoking. It left me wanting more. I decided to reset my stop time to 12 noon. By the time the parade ended, I had about an hour before noon. I bought a pack of cigarettes, kept 3, threw away the rest and smoked until noon. It’s almost 10 hours later and I’m hanging in there. I feel empowered because I’m choosing not to smoke. I didn’t judge or condemn myself for stumbling and I wanted to start again. I decided not to hide, lie or pretend like it didn’t happen. I knew I would be encouraged, supported and not judged. Tomorrow morning, I’ll take my first daily pledge.