So last night was the first drunken night since being quit and it was not a clever evening. At one point I was talking about wanting a Rollie to some ladies in the que for the loos and their advice was "Oh yeah, its fine to just have a ciggie!" I also heard the same from the (drunken) friend I was with who is "mostly quit", though she did slip last night and texted that she was having awful withdrawals today. Waking up with a disgusting hangover the saving grace for me was that I did not smoke. I'm hoping to stay far more sober now and redirect my energies and funds into healthier, self-respecting recreations. My mind was the problem, after half a bottle of wine and a pint of beer I remember saying "All I want is to do is smoke and flirt", the strongest drives, found it unnerving. The music was gash too. Hating the smell of smoke on my clothes from being out, but that's where the talking and mingling happens 😕 Lots has been going on and I am sticking to not smoking but think I need to "work the programme" more, as they say in AA... and be gentle, the red wine was accompanied by some deep painful histories talk, was okay but not a good set up for a fun night out. Haha, sounds like I'm full of regrets but at least I didn't smoke, honestly feels like my best "progress" at the moment so wasn't willing to give up my quit last night. Thought of the 'hangover medicinal Rollie' today, so another milestone experienced as a non smoker.
