Random thoughts..

[Tabbiekat]

Insomnia strikes again, but hey I decided to start the Chantix again so I know in a couple days I will get back onto a normal sleep schedule. It was a really nice day here in Northern Kansas so I opened the windows and was going about my day when my husband went out to smoke and the smoke drifted in through the window along with the breeze and instead of the "eww" or no reaction, I had a moment of I wanna ..NOPE. So I decided then to get back on Chantix since it truly helped me the first few weeks.

I saw my unofficial adopted mom today (Friday). The last time I saw her was on Nov 6th, the day before she was going in for her bypass surgery. She had a triple bypass 10 years ago. She has been a smoker since her teens. She didn't stop 10 years ago and that is probably a major reason why she had to have a repeat. It turned into a quadruple bypass though. Her first few hours out of surgery were scary and doctors thought she might of had a stroke, thankfully by the next morning she was up and walking. She came home last Saturday, by that time I was 3 days into my cold and so I have spent the last week talking with her on the phone, did some shopping, but not delivering of groceries and making plans for thanksgiving dinner with her. Today my husband took his riding mower w/bag over to her house and was clearing her yard plus the neighbors yards (total of 3 yards) of leaves. Six truck loads of leaves taken out to her sons farm. I went over about an hour after my husband did to find that Dad let the dog out and somehow did not get her put on the lead and had been missing for about 15 minutes so I helped locate the dog and then went in and sat and talked with mom for awhile. Normally we would have been outside smoking and talking away, but it didn't even come up in conversation. She knows I quit and while she is not smoking now I hope some of the ideas and experiences I have been sharing will help her to stay quit.

While in the big town for my husbands doctors appointment on Wednesday we stopped in at a jewelry store. I wanted to find out how much to get my white gold wedding ring replated in rhodium. I was also pricing simple bands. When we got married, at the courthouse, the financials allowed for a band or band w/ gems not both. Fast forward 10+ years, he said to get the replating and ring since I am saving all this money now. Ideally save then spend, but hey hubby said to do it, so I did. So I left the one ring to be replated and the other to be resized. I will be going by myself to pick them up tomorrow and I am just trying not to think about the fact that last year I had to make the 2 1/2hr trip by myself and I chain smoked during that time. I got my mints, I already made sure my husband did not leave any cigarettes in the truck, I emptied the ashtray and put it out of sight. I will be stopping to get a coffee before I leave town and crank up the radio. I do have another incentive to say quit, I simply cannot afford to until I get the rings paid off , besides I will see the new ring as not only a constant reminder and celebration of quitting, but  also as giving my husband a healthier me for longer.