DOF. A common term used on this site, standing for "Days of Freedom". When I first joined back in August of 2017, I saw people with 100, 200, 500, 1000, and even more days of freedom. I wasn't inspired by this at the time. I was discouraged. How would I ever make it that far? It was impossible. I knew I wanted to quit and quit for life at that. I took the leap on September 2nd, 2017, and soon "DOF" started to take on a new meaning:
Days of Fighting. Days of Fear. I fought harder than ever before despite having the help of bupropion (Zyban/Wellbutrin) and nicotine lozenges. I had to fight for my quit because no matter how much you want it, you still have to work for it. I was fearful because I thought it would be "this" hard for forever. I was in a dark place for those first few weeks. I had to find activities to replace my endless smoking and vaping because I was quitting both at the same time.
However, soon I began to understand what Days of Freedom were all about. Days of Fun! It wasn't until a few months in that it hit me: I had more time than ever, and imagine all the possibilities for what I could do with that time! I can't say I've done anything wildly spectacular... but I am discovering new hobbies that are far more fun than sitting around puffing all day.
Freedom. It's definitely the best word to describe this feeling with 262 DOF under my belt. I just went to an anime convention a state away and it was absolutely amazing to not only survive but enjoy the two-hour car ride there and back, staying in a hotel and walking around a convention center without having to worry about: "When can I smoke? When can I vape? Where can I smoke? Where can I vape? I need it now I need it now I need it now." Trust me... that part fades away. And it's a glorious feeling.
I am in control now. I still get those random urges to puff, like when I'm in a highly stressful situation or when my emotions are wreaking havoc on my mind. But then I imagine myself actually smoking or vaping... and I get really grossed out, enough so that the urge goes away pretty darn fast. I think the best part about my quit so far is that I have changed as a person, and other people have noticed, especially my boyfriend. We started dating way before my quit date, and he told me yesterday that I used to act like a jerk when I smoked and vaped! I laughed about it and looked back at myself and agreed... I was not a very nice person when all I was thinking about was nicotine.
Let's just say, in short, that it's good to be free. I know I can still slip up, the possibility is there, but I also know that I'll choose not to. DOF.
Days of Friendship. Thank you to everyone on here who has supported me so far. I'll be sticking around far into the future, and I'll be here on September 2nd, 2018 when I celebrate my one year of quit. 365 DOF. I can't wait!
Love,
Kaylee
