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Share your quitting journey

Rough Saturday

Sandy-9-17-17
Member
0 14 123

Having a daughter with BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder)  and then self diagnosing my own self with the same thing as I learned of her illness was a hard truth.  She can flip a switch during any conversation.

Well, she came by on Saturday, and I have been holding 5 packages of hers that have been delivered to our home, (she doesn't live there)  and because she owes me money, I told her that if she gave me $100 out of the $430 that she owes me, I would give her the 5 packages!  It's obvious she has money to buy things, and things that she doesn't necessarily need, but yet owes me money from almost 2 years ago.  

Well, she didn't like that I told her that, and she screamed and yelled at me, and wished me dead!  

How does one cope with that!?  I am not doing very well, but one thing that never came to mind to handle the anger, the sadness, the bitterness, and tears, was smoking.

While I have grown apart from this disorder, she unfortunately has many more years to go with it.  I wish it didn't hurt so bad, and her words keep playing over and over in my head. 

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About the Author
I'm an active 55 year old woman, who loves hanging with my family. I have 5 children 2 of them married, and 4 grand children. They are all my whole world. UPDATE 8/21/23 Now 61 years and have 2 more grandsons to add to the crew! My hobbies are bike riding, golfing, bowling, kayaking, painting (canvas or rocks) and gardening (getting the hang of it finally) I have smoked since I was 13 yrs old, and quit one time within the last ten years for a total of 9 months. Stress took me back to smoking. My life has been stress free for the last couple of years. Divorced for 2 years now, but back together with my Ex (husband) for a year now. It's time, I'm ready, and I quit! So far it's been pretty easy, so I'm very optimistic about this being my final quit! Thanks in advance for all the support! 2023 - Update: I now have 2 more grandbabies for a total of 6 and still smoke free! They will never get to know me as a smoker!!!!!!