Just dropping by for a minute, it's a slow day here at work today......
I was informed that I will have tomorrow off for Good Friday! We normally only work until 1 anyway!
Just wanted to drop in for a minute to take the time to say hi to all who have supported me and my quit, which by the way......Is coming up to 200 days in a week! I am so excited to see that number. Although I was tested a couple weeks back by my BPD daughter! (Borderline Personality Disorder) in case you are wondering what it is!
She has been spiraling out of control, and it hit me hard this time as she lied about many things to us! I thought very desperately about running myself out the door to the store.....But I sat there, blatantly fighting the urge, which was really the strongest I have ever had since I quit! I did what most people can't do when they quit, I grabbed a drink instead, and I went to my room and watched a movie until I fell asleep.....because I knew that when I woke up, that urge would be gone, and I just needed to fall asleep and not think about her and her behavior! It is truly amazing how much smoking controls one's mind, as that very night, I had serious smoking dreams, and I was doing just that in my dream, smoking my heart out! I woke up and thought about how bad that would be if it were really happening! I turned me right off and I headed right back into my solid quit! I will not let her get the best of me. She and I will have to keep some distance for now, I love her dearly, but it is time that she is forced into getting some treatment, especially because she refuses the medications. But I can't be around her until she shapes it up! Come hell or high water!
I don't get here often anymore, and when I do, I sometimes just read up on everyone, all the newbies, and I may or may not put my two cents worth in!
I am so excited about reaching my 200 days of FREEDOM! I am enjoying life so much without having to stop an take a break to smoke! I am taking a trip with my daughter, grand daughter, and one of her school friends, to PA, and then NJ. It is a 10 old birthday trip for my grand daughter over Spring Break to bring her out and show her where she was born in NJ! I am excited that we don't have to stop for smoke breaks! YAY ME! So I'm not sure I will get here for my 200 day celebration on the Freedom Train, but I for sure will be smoke free on that day! I know you'll all celebrate for me until I can check in!
Thanks for listening everyone! Keep up the great work and I'll see you all when I can!
Sandy 193 DOF