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Day 4 - Changes

Rosie1917
Member
2 6 92

   This morning was the first time I woke up without a smoking thought. My first thought was, "Ooof. Rosie. Your body hurts. Ooooofffff what did you do to yourself?". I like to keep the windows cracked open a bit, so my second thought, after figuring out how to get out of bed, was how the air smells so nice right now - almost like a pre-rain spring day. It was noticing that I could smell again that made me remember that I didn't think about cigarettes. My heart leapt. I hugged myself for being kind to myself. I think even my little addict let loose a smile.

   I looked in the mirror after putting the coffee water on to boil. My skin is starting to glow again from the oxygen returning and blood vessels relaxing, and probably my increased water intake (more below).

   My lungs DO feel better, not AMAZING yet, but much improved. A friend of mine who quit a year ago reminded me that we aren't constantly clearing our throats anymore. My cough is mostly gone. I know my lungs will feel better every day. 

   I haven't had any heart palpitations recently. My anxiety has been at an all time low (it's still there, but it is not bad). I spoke with another former smoker friend of mine who has similar mental health disease as me (we're a rough bunch, but we keep each other laughing through it all). She told me her moods also got easier to manage once she quit smoking. I'm very much looking forward to this aspect of quitting, and in the process, enjoying every moment of peace that I am getting, finally. It is SO ****** up how much cigarettes disrupt every aspect of a human. I'm now wondering how much my cats will benefit from my quit. I'm sure a lot!

   GI Issues - Is constipation just a thing with quitting? I keep reading about it and it's pretty funny, but obviously definitely not funny. It's just one more random thing your body reacts with, I guess. Cigarettes and coffee used to be my morning laxative. I recently adjusted my diet (due to MCTD, but changing things up for my quit isn't a bad idea), and minor GI upset is bound (punny) to happen. Luckily I work in gastroenterology, so I have easy access to just the resources needed to handle this....issue. A decent cleanse will probably be good for my quit anyway.

   Water intake - While my bowels may not be moving, these kidneys most certainly are! My husband bought me a fancy water bottle so I can have lots and lots of water on hand for my quit. And I use this baby religiously. We will need to buy more toilet paper. I can use some of the money I've saved so far (about 60 dollars already!!!) to fund my increased TP needs. 

   I am noticing that I am not able to drink as much coffee as I normally would. Usually, I'll have a half a pot in the morning. But since I quit, I am able to drink only one or two cups before I jitter and shake apart. This may not be such a bad thing, but I really DO love coffee (and tea too, at night), so it's kind of a bummer. I wonder why smoking makes you less sensitive to caffeine?

   I mentioned smells earlier, and this is amazing but it also has a downside - I can smell things that stink too. And it is definitely time to de-stink my apartment. I have three cats and a smoker husband. My apartment smells bad. I'm so embarrassed! I've had people over (not since the pandemic, but we have lived like this for a long time)! Why didn't anyone tell me my apartment smells bad?! I'm sure it isn't THAT bad, but my nose hasn't smelled things in so long, so this is kind of all new. 

   Sleeping - Lots of Chantix users have reported sleeping disturbances (vivid dreams, sleep walking, nightmares, insomnia, drowsiness). Aside from one day of conking out when my dosage was increased (since remedied), I haven't had any of these side effects. My sleep has improved since I quit. Maybe since I'm breathing better my sleep is of higher quality? I know it is still far too early to tell, but I think not smoking has had a positive impact in this regard as well.

   GRUMPINESS - I'm happy to report that aside from day 1, I have not had any quit-related grumpiness. I can thank Allen Carr for this.  I keep the book on me at all times and refer to sections as I need them. Simply reading about quitting is a great way to both distract myself when a smoking thought hits AND it boosts my motivation to stay quit. Speaking of smoking thoughts, I've only had one today so far. Yesterday I had only 6. The intensity is decreasing along with the frequency. It is so empowering to know that every time I shut down one of those thoughts that little addict heals a bit more, so the craves are weaker and weaker until they don't really exist anymore.

   On a sad note, ANOTHER former smoker friend of mine told me he has been smoking again. He quit for so long, and helped me in the last few months to prep for my quit. I'm really sad for him because he was SO encouraging to me and really inspired me that I could stop too. I told him about becomeanex and our super amazing supportive community. He is starting the patch and I hope he joins us. I hope I can help him through this relapse like he helped me.

That's all I have to report for now. I'm going to go march around my apartment like a happy, proud, crazy cat lady gettin' her exercize.

-Rosie

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About the Author
Cat lover, art lover, painter, poet. I have severe anxiety and MCTD but I don't let either stop me from doing what I love. My partner is supportive of my quit and I am very grateful for that, even if I can't always show it.