Well. Where do I start. Hubs got the news from finally seeing an oncologist...there is nothing further they can do. They are starting palative (not sure I spelled this correctly) care Monday. The doc said he has weeks to months left. I'm just hoping and praying that God will step in and do a MIGHTY work and heal my beloved. What is sickening is as soon as we left that place me bawling my eyeballs out most of the day... I WANTED A CIGARETTE. I talked it down and continue to. I feel like I just don't want to deal with this. I don't want to think about or feel it... I just want to smoke it away. I'm not going to do it but really struggling tonight and all day. I wasn't drinking water, chewing gum, none of my tools because I had a mountain thrown on my today. I'm just venting and crying here but maybe someone else won't smoke because I didn't. Maybe the strength the Lord has given me will help someone else. I always ask Him to use me not really considering He may want to walk me through something I can't handle to show His power and that He can help you through ALL things in life. I don't know what the Lord is doing but I know it's good. Because He's good. 
. Thanks for all the support yall. My family is going through the fire but we are not forsaken. Thank God for His mercies and His peace and Joy that help in these dark and terrible times.
Rant over.
Rachy -51 days of FREEDOM
