Posamari

Take a sad song and make it better......

Blog Post created by Posamari on May 30, 2017

Just  read jonescarp.aka.dale.Jan_2007 on the comfort of repetition @ Part Of The Problem and how very true it really is.

 

Yes.

the unexpected amount of time it takes to unlearn it.

It's been well over 200 + DOF for me and I still crave a menthol 100

Especially after eating

Each and every morsel of food 

And other 'triggers'.

And so I've started replacing that after meal smoke with more food.

And more chocolate than I care to admit.

It's now a major food group.

And I'm gaining weight and do not like it.

So I exercise more and more.

Every.

Single

Day.

Not a day goes by that I don't think of cigarettes in some capacity.

Since I quit smoking, my emotions can be all over the board.

The smallest thing can bring a tear to my eye.

Good grief.

I'm growing tired of the cravings

Growing tired of the weight gain

Growing tired of the pressure I put on myself to exercise balls to the walls everyday

Tired of dealing with these silly emotions.

Bleeechhhh.

 

HOWEVA  

 

My health is more important.

And so is the respect from family and others.

And my daughters would absolutely be so disgusted with me

If I started that nasty addiction again.

And they are the most important people/things in my life.

But most of all

The self respect

I have

For finally kicking this addiction out of my life.

If I could wave the proverbial magic wand.

I would have quit years (and years) earlier.

But I didn't.

I remind myself how much better I can BREATHE since I quit.

There's a reason for air folks!

Though there is permanent damage to my lungs.

Probably my heart too.

And my vascular system.

But what did I expect.

 I kept smoking those menthol 100's.

The ones that tasted so good after a meal

The stress of worrying if I smelled like tobacco is gone.

That was a biggie.

I was basically a closet smoker and work in the public schools so the stress was real about the smell of tobacco.

I spent more time trying to eradicate the smell than I did smoking.

Sheer stupidity.

I can now ride my bike for 10 miles.

And walk at least 5 miles.

It's very empowering.

And a great sense of freedom.

So now I have

 "the unexpected amount of time it takes to unlearn it"

There is no quick fix.

To unlearn the behavior of years of smoking a menthol 100 after a meal.

Or at any other time.

But I'm in it for the long term---NOPE.

Just taking a little longer than I had thought it would.

But the freedom of not HAVING to succumb

To my past years of tobacco addiction

Is worth

 "the unexpected amount of time it takes to unlearn it"

Outcomes