ugh, promises promises

Blog Post created by MusicalHobbit on Aug 20, 2020

I promised myself this morning that I would continue to use less nicotine in prep for my quit day next week. Well, it didn't happen that way, unfortunately.

I guess i could say it did happen a couple times, i managed to just distract myself from the craving after eating my evening snack for my evening meds. Also after lunch. But breakfast didn't go so well.

After lunch I managed to delay the nicotine by about 3 hours, but still used.

This last time, however, it just didn't. it was a very strong craving and i just couldn't not. i have this nice brand new pack of spearmint gum I got today to chew on, and I saw it sitting next to me. I just didn't reach for it.

So kind of mad at myself.

I can be kind of hard on myself in general though, issues from childhood is what i'll say. So maybe i shouldn't be in this case, but it's difficult because when i tell myself i will not do something and end up doing it anyhow, I feel like i failed myself.

Wow i just realized how much i used that word in the prior sentence.

Part of using nicotine for me, not sure if it is the same for all of you but worded differently, is a stim. I have asperger's and so some of using snus for me is an oral stim, the reason I got the spearmint gum as it is similar in flavor just has nothing in except spearmint flavor.

Well i can't think of anything else to say except my cat is being very random right now. lol. grins.