As I waddled around the cold streets of Gotham I thought about how my life had changed. 18 days before, while huddled outside with what turned out to be my last cigarette I was coughing and miserable. Suddenly, a Basset Hound that had escaped from a nuclear power plant bit me because I smelled like a cigarette. I decided I had to quit smoking.
I spent 48 hours craving cigarettes and milkbones with only the ex community to help me. On the 3rd day, my transformation was complete. I was wrinkled, floppy eared, and I could smell crime a mile a way. I knew what I had to do. I would fight my cigarette craving by fighting crime!
As I cruised the streets in the basset mobile (a VW bus), the basset signal flashed in the sky. Thanks to 18 days not smoking I could smell the Puffins men a mile away robbing the bakery. I slowly drove to the scene of the crime. "Baaaroooo" went the basset siren. Puffin and his gang burst out laughing when the saw me. "Basset Woman, you'll never catch us!". Little did they know the smell of bread made my mouth water. SPLAT! EWWW! Puffin and his men were caught in a drool web. As commissioner Gilbert and the police rounded the gang up, I heard them say, "This is too gross. Couldn't we have called aqua man or something?"
I retired to the basset couch proud of another day of smoke free crime fighting.