Lordy, lordy it's been FOURTY! FOURTY DAYS since I've smoked, that is. I'm having a difficult time and today has been no exception. I am so disgusted with myself for still feeling this way after FOURTY DAYS. My parents, whom both smoked for 50+ years quit about eight years ago, my mother told me last week that I should be over this by now!!! Well, I'm not even close! I wake up and go to bed wanting a cigarette. I'm the most disgusted with the ten pound weight gain, I've worked hard to lose weight, for what, so that I can just put it back on one pound at a time? I've slept most of the day away today, as I have fir the last 40 days. If I'm not sleeping, I'm eating. I have a hip with severe arthritis, so walking is usually out of the question. I swear I just don't know if I can do it! The depression, the weight gain, the lack of desire to do anything....it's just simply unbelievable! I NEVER would have thought that it would have been so difficult. FOURTY DAYS, $336.00, 1,223 cigarettes, 18,354.65 mg of tar not inhaled and I'm doubting myself to win this battle.
