Quit Day 1

Blog Post created by Marigene6266 on Aug 10, 2020

It's day 1 and it's been stressful. I do feel the need to talk about everything that's made it stressful so here it goes. My daughter uses online dating apps and last night she met someone new. they have been talking about a week - ten days via text and a couple phone calls. I always get nervous when she meets someone new. She left about 11 and called me about 1230 last night. She had picked him up in her car and they went for a drive, when she called they were at my mom's. So that helped, the fact that he was willing to meet her grandmother immediately. Even with that I was up and down several times throughout the night. I heard nothing til I got up at 7:30 this morning and she still was not home (did I forget to mention that my daughter is 35 years old) I know, she's a grown woman.shes just getting back on her feet after a bad relationship. I should be grateful she's safe and happy and content to stay home rather than struggle financially to live on her own.She is still my baby and I worry, I'm sure every other parent here can empathize with me. Anyway, that is how my day started with more stress than I could handle. I smoked two cigarettes before 11 am (normally it would have been 6-7 for that time frame). She finally got home and we had to go to my mom's , she is diabetic too and recently began using a Dexcom which is a continuous glucose monitor, we were there for about 3 - 4 hours. I have shown her how to change it when necessary but she refuses to do it. We had to go and change that monitor. We hadn't eaten and I expected to eat at my moms , she had nothing for us to eat and would not let us to the store to get anything . She lives nearly an hour away from me so just the drive over and back was tough for me today. I desperately wanted to go and bum a smoke from her neighbor but I did'nt. I had a little mini meltdown in the car coming home, telling my daughter how hard it was to resist that urge. I cried a few tears but I got through it. Then after coming home it happened again, I suddenly wanted a cigarette so bad, I had to go to the bedroom and  cry a little. I really want to just lay down and go to sleep for the next 72 hours, just till Im over the initial craving phase. I know that's not going to happen but it's a nice thought.