From moment to moment, hour to hour, day to day, it's been another 9 DOF since my last blog post. I've been good and busy with other projects, sufficiently occupied to the extent where only a few real craving-urges happen throughout the day and my aromatherapy/ lozenge combo has done the trick. I check in daily with EX, catching up on others progress and insights, taking the Daily Pledge, staying close and motivated in my quit. I still have a scratchy, sore throat and my voice seems to be having an identity crisis and keeps squeaking out. Cigarette smoking had deepened my voice, so it's not surprising that with all that guck in the area being ejected by body, my voice is re-adjusting as well. Telling my doctor this week that I had quit was a big proud moment.
Although I've been trying to keep myself too busy to think about having a toxi-stick, I find I'm tired and have difficulty concentrating. I've been trying to write this blog entry for a several days, and it just hasn't been coming together. To be totally honest with myself, I sometimes miss that "pick-me-up" I used to get from smoking, although it wasn't a healthy or even a lasting "pick-me-up" as one always just led to another, and needing another, and needing another and so on. I hope this fuzzy-headed lack of motivation isn't permanent! I'm extremely stubborn, once I make up my mind to change something, there's no going back, and as I said to my doctor smoking is something I never want or plan to do again, but boy I hope to get out these doldrums as soon as possible! I wonder what "normal" even feels like and will I even recognize my new "normal" if and when I get there?!
