Today was a better day. I slept in way too late, probably thanks to the new blinds I have. I've only had a couple of crappy cravings, but they weren't nearly as bad as yesterday. This evening a friend came over to drop off a pie, and he smelled like he had just finished smoking. That one was a particularly bad craving as I tend to spend my evenings after my kids go to sleep outside in my chair watching movies or playing games. Being outside is a trigger for me right now, so it kind of sucks. I managed to get through it by having a couple of cinnamon altoids. Cinnamon is a huge ally for me. I was able to finish the last chapter exam in my medical coding course, and repaint 3 of my nails that chipped away. My main goal for tomorrow is to take and pass my ICD-10-CM coding final. Between the kids online schooling and my exam, my whole day will essentially be taken up.
My nicotine patches are irritating the crap out of the. They are an off brand that I get from the pharmacy, and they don't stick as well as the Nicoderm brand. Its been almost 12 hours and it wants to fall off. It is driving me nuts. I mean, it is the least of my worries, really.
I think tomorrow is going to be a really big challenge for me. One of my kids really loathes online school, and makes the days kind of drag on. The other just likes to play around instead of listening to her teacher. I'm going to take it moment by moment and focus on how to help instead of how to escape. That's all smoking really was anyways, right...an escape? There are definitely much healthier ways to escape for a moment. We have a dog who needs to be outside at times. I'm sure she would appreciate an extra walk.
Anyways, that's really all for tonight. I appreciate all of the kind words, advice, and encouragement I have received. Even if I don't respond, just know that I absolutely appreciate all of it. You are amazing, strong, and worthy of your decision to stay tobacco free. (I think I just found my sign off.)
