So, I was unsuccessful with my first quit date in January. And my second, and third, in February. Looking back honestly, I wasn't fully willing to quit. Smoking allowed me a change to stop and take a break, to get away for a minute. As an introvert (I recharge alone, not by being with others) it allowed me to take a few minutes away from people. I realize that I can still take a few minutes without smoking, and I am much more ready to stop.
Today is my fourth quit date since finding this community. I am happy to report that, despite my minimal use of the resources here, I am much more prepared - and much more determined - to quit. I am 98% ready to quit.
I've been up for an hour. I am having my coffee (I can't imagine going without BOTH) but not in my usual spot. I'm inside, chewing hard on a cake-pop stick, surrounded by my dogs. The first 15 minutes of the morning were difficult. I was woken up out of a hard sleep, and the grogginess made it harder to figure out what to do with myself. Grumpiness and irritability set in. But then when I (finally) had a cup of coffee in my hand, I stepped out onto the deck (I usually smoked on the screened porch). I realized that taking in the outside air has a very positive effect on my mood, so I will still go outside for a few minutes every morning, just somewhere different.
Now, forty five minutes later, only the dregs of my coffee remain. My dogs are still resting, daughter still texting, my stick is half destroyed, and the craving (yes, its' been one long craving) has subsided into a mosquito-like annoyance, one that I can swat at for a temporary reprieve. It comes buzzing back rather quickly, but that I can handle.
I believe that I can continue to not smoke now. This morning I faced that part of it that scared me the most and I have succeeded. If sleeping counts (LOL) I've been smoke-free for 10 hours. If not, I'm 1 hour smoke free, and I'm looking forward to making that 1 day, 1 week...
