4,161 to be exact over the last 166 days since I quit smoking. It's hard to imagine those used up cigarette butts in old coffee cans and ash trays- piling up, then tossing them out, then watching them pile up again.
For those following my blog and my journey, I'm happy to report that after 5 1/2 months, I've finally turned the page. I still think of smoking...or more to the point, I think about quitting...every day. I reflect back on the last 166 days and remember when 166 minutes between cigarettes was an anxiety filled impossibility. I think about the struggle it was and the fact that determination made all the difference this time. A promise made - to my kids, my wife and to myself - and a promise I vowed to keep. No Matter What.
It sucked so bad and I came here to vent. The secret - if there is one to quitting - is to hate every second of it and do it anyway. I kept repeating I quit to BE better, not to FEEL better. If I eventually did feel better as well, that would be a bonus. And now - I feel great!
I gained over 30 lbs in the quit over the first 2 1/2 months and lost it during the last 2 1/2 months. At 50 years old I'm swimming 50 laps a day in the pool, working out and strength training 3 times a week, and walking a ton. I am literally, inside and out, in the best shape of my life.
It wasn't easy. As you can read back in this blog I regularly testified to the fact that I had what had to be the hardest quit in history. And it got easier for me, so if you're struggling right now just keep the faith.
The hard really is what makes it great.
Today I "think" about smoking a few times a day but there's generally not much punch behind the cravings. Once in a while, I get slapped with a pretty good crave out of nowhere but I know it won't last so I wait it out. I don't smoke, so what else is there to do but wait for it to pass?
I so appreciate the support I found here and encourage people as they quit to read, post, and share often. It helps.
I'm looking forward to my 6 month anniversary soon and will probably post again then.
Keep the faith and remember the only way out, is through.