Over the weekend my family and I went scalloping up in semi north Florida we were having a great time until the call came in that my boyfriends mom had passed in the night by heart attack in her sleep. As a nurse you often hear if your gonna die by heart attack when you are sleeping is the best way cause you feel no pain. But even still my man is devastated with every right to be.
I on the other hand have been hand so many blessing lately being rehired at a company it’s taken me four years to get back on at and finally the ready desire to leave smoking behind and first time getting to snorkel in ocean time with my family a new schedule that allows me to be home in evening and night to be with my family at this moment I’m overly blessed. But he’s so mad at the world which has began to cause stress between us. Then I find out for fourth years my mother has been lying to me about way my name is spelled so now I have to change so many documents to be able to start this job it saddens me cause my real mom is mentally schizophrenic and part of her disorder is to lie by why about my name? What a petty thing I cried for hours I’m hurt. So now as tomorrow approaches I’m a wreck but don’t want change my date. I’m fearful of success now and don’t know if this stress is going hinder me I feel now like I don’t know who I really am. More confused than ever and pain is so deep between trying help him get through his moms death and get my name straight start job I feel like I’ve done something that god wants me stand up and realize ive done but what?