Stressed about quitting

Blog Post created by Imanut on Dec 6, 2017

    I really need to quit smoking for many reasons. About 8 years ago I felt a lump on my neck that turned out to be a thyroid nodule. I had a needle biopsy done and it came back as some sort of Cancer, that's exactly what the doc told me. I opted to get my entire thyroid removed instead of half of it because I had nodules on the other side too that would have to be monitored for the rest of my life. After they removed it, turns out there was no Cancer. The fear of Cancer had scared me so bad I had not smoked any 3 days before the surgery. The anesthesiologist told me that was the worse thing I could have done before surgery. He said that my lungs could go into spasms during surgery due to the fact is also have asthma.  Well that scared me too so, like an idiot I went back to smoking after the surgery.  

     I've had my throat scoped 2 years ago due to it feeling like something was stuck in there, that ended up being inflammation from acid reflux. Two in a half months ago I got bronchitis, two weeks into the bronchitis I got a cold.  After I got over that mess it left my voice hoarse and I still have throat pain two in a half months after being sick. I decided to see an ENT specialist because I know that is not normal. I feared the worse because I knew I was going to get scoped again. I am very thankful it was nothing more than inflammation. I am tired of being scared of what smoking is doing to me and I'm tired of living my life with cigarettes controlling me. I have lost family members to lung cancer from smoking. I've had so many wake up calls that I am not ignoring. The cigarettes have such a strong hold on me I don't know how to break the cycle.  The past few days I've been telling myself that they taste nasty, you don't smoke etc..  all that is doing is causing me to become stressed and it's waking me up at night due to being tensed up about not having them. I don't know how to train my brain. I've been keeping busy but, the cravings never go away and my quit date is days away.  I've got to figure out how to do this and reduce the stress.