Good morning everyone,
We are doing well. I've started working overnights and the wife works during the day. This allows us to not need a sitter/daycare. Our family's watching her was great but we learned that free daycare is not necessarily free, so to speak.
It is hard to believe that it has been around two years since I used nicotine. For 20 years I chained smoked thinking that it was helping my anxiety. The anxiety improved when I took that crap out of life and changed the way that I think. I use REBT in every area of my life. I could certainly have a few more drinks here or there or take a bit more antianxiety medication but at the end of the day it is ME that has to say there is nothing here to analyze, change the channel.
I'm grateful that I am blessed.
I had a born-again experience about a year ago and am on the other side of that experience like in JOHN 15 (Peter had a spiritual experience and then went out fishing and needed Jesus's slight correction to get a bunch of fish) and have found that it is important after being delivered to daily continue to seek out God's will. When I was plagued with unwanted ruminating thoughts the Lord was very close at hand. Without that pain it is harder to remember.
Saint Brigid offered an old blind woman sight to see a gorgeous sunset. She accepted and when she received her sight and saw the sunset she immediately begged the saint for her sight back. The blind woman was disconnected from God.
The Buddhist's say there was mountains and then there were mountains again.
What I found when I accepted the resurrection blew my mind as thought it were a psychedelic experience. Having nonsense thoughts and ways of thinking (my sin so to speak) lifted I saw to the other side of the door of perception if for just a brief moment.
If you are waiting to be loved, you are loved.
If you are waiting to be delivered, you are delivered.
Cigarettes, booze etc. isn't the problem. Yes, I can put boundaries around all types of behavior but until I address my thinking I'm going to still be plagued with the same anxieties that created a vacuum that emboldened overuse of nicotine.
I don't do that anymore. Nicotine doesn't serve me. It doesn't help me make friends. It doesn't help my anxiety.