~~I forgive myself for having believed for so long that I was never good enough to have, get and be what I wanted.~~ Ceanne Derohan
It's time, dontcha think? Time to forgive yourself for smoking when you knew you should quit. When you ignored that cough you had for so long? When you put off going to the doctor's. When you bought one more pack instead of quitting like you promised yourself.
It's so very easy to beat ourselves up when we do things we know we shouldn't do. Not just with smoking but in other areas of our lives as well. When we have that relationship that we know is unhealthy. We when stay at a job we know we despise. When we don't get enough physical activity or we don't eat healthy or we don't go outside to enjoy the sunshine.
We are then left with regret. With sorrow. With open wounds that we refuse to heal because we 'deserve' them. We may feel shame or humiliation or embarrassment and we may hang our heads or withdraw into ourselves just a little bit more. Our joy in life may dim just a bit with each bad decision or wrong turn until we find ourselves not enjoying anything much anymore.
No, this post isn't for everyone. I know that. But this post is for those who have those open wounds. Who haven't learned the art of forgiving themselves. Who don't know the joy of healing. This post is for you.
Those things we did that damages us...the smoking, the unhealthy habits, the bad decisions....are what build us. We don't learn from all we do right, we learn from mistakes. We grow from errors. We get better from not knowing better.
So wounds are not prizes we have to accept for our bad decisions...wounds are what are left from bad decisions we haven't forgiven ourselves for. After a while, many open wounds are like a pattern of all we've done wrong in life when healed scars are that same pattern but of what we've conquered. What we've overcome. What we've learned and grown from.
We're human. We make mistakes. Everyone on earth does at some point in their lives or else they're not really living, they are only existing. So forgive yourself. Forgive yourself and let it go. Forgive yourself and heal. Forgive yourself and live. Your best life. Your only life. With joy and with abandon and with self-love, live.
I hope you realize how very much you deserve to heal from those thoughts that you're just not good enough or that you deserve anything less than good. You are uniquely imperfectly perfect just as you are.