~~A lot of things broke my heart, but fixed my vision.~~ Unknown
Quitting can feel like that, you know. Like your heart is breaking for reasons you can't even explain. Like nothing will ever be 'normal' again. Like you have lost something that cannot be replaced.
Right or wrong, good or bad, that may be how you feel. And that's ok. You are not losing your mind and you are not being 'wrong'. Quitting smoking is a life changing process that brings a whirlwind of emotions, thoughts, and ideas. Some will help you. Some will keep you down. Some will make you waiver.
But, if you hold on, you find to your surprise that you've done something good. Something that makes you feel a bit better. Your vision is being fixed. Because more and more you are beginning to take pride in your quit. You recognize that smoking has done nothing good for you. That smoking only masked the stressors of life, it didn't fix them.
And as your vision clears, you find enjoyment in what you see. Healthier skin, brighter eyes. More energy. You will understand with sudden clarity that smoking was just an addiction. Not your friend. Not an ally. Not your ability to cope with life. Just an addiction that kept you tied to a 6 inch tube of paper, chemicals, posions, and nicotine.
And your heart? It wasn't really broken at all. Just bruised by all the changes. Just torn between addiction and health. Just afraid.
Use that beautiful vision and see a life free of huddling in the snow and rain to smoke....digging in your purse to find that last pack....seeing your loved ones turn away in disappointment as you light up.
I hope you see all you're gaining rather than what you've lost...because you're losing absolutely nothing good when you quit.