~~These mountains you are carrying, you were only supposed to climb.~~ Najwa Zabian
Quitting definitely brings out our inner warrior as we battle addiction for control. Control over the cravings, over the lingering thoughts of smoking, over our emotions. In those early days of your quit you may feel like it's one battle after another. You wake up ready to battle and you lay down at night exhausted from them.
If you are not careful, those battles become a habit. Your automatic response to stress, depression, anger, hunger, exhaustion, loneliness. A crutch really from moving on and learning new ways to move through your life.
Don't you deserve more??? Or, let me please rephrase.....you deserve so much more!!
You see, these mountains that you are carrying, you were only supposed to climb. Quitting is a process...a journey, if you will. But that journey smooths out after a time. Gets easier. Gets better. Gets lighter as you climb. You reach the top of that mountain when you have developed new skills, talents, and behaviors that get you successfully through your day. You stop thinking smoking will 'help you through' and start thinking that yoga will help you through....or deep breathing...or phoning a friend....or running....or a good book....or a glass of ice water....see the difference? You aren't supposed to hold that battles close to you and not let go. Release them as you work through them. You don't have to hold them.
Climb that mountain by all means!! Quit smoking. Whine, stamp your feet, cry, scream, and growl your way through. But don't forget to let go. Cry and then go for a jog. Stamp your feet but then dance. Whine but then volunteer at an animal shelter. Develop these new, healthy, life changing experiences to replace the old, unhealthy life taking habit you always fell back on.
Let loose of those mountains because you aren't suppose to carry them. Put your past to rest with loving care because it was a part of you. Set it down gently and prepare yourself to walk away for good. Turn towards that pretty little hill that now calls your name. Feel the lightness and the freedom of letting those old burdens go. Life is calling you. Smile and head on out to meet it.