250 days...and I smoked

Blog Post created by DLHaffner on Nov 12, 2018

I'm sorry Ex Community...I smoked this weekend.  I had a reservation this whole time that if the IVF treatment my husband and I had been doing failed that I would smoke.  We received the super sad call on Saturday that we are not pregnant and that night after racing, crying, bummer day I smoked.  I bought a pack.  I'm still smoking.  It's disgusting.  I'm bummed.  I will try again but I am super devastated that it looks like we won't have children so what's the point if I live a long healthy life any way.  Smoking did not improve my situation...but I guess I have a case of the f-ck its.  I need to get my thoughts together but for today I am just doing the best I can.  I'm sorry universe.  It's totally sucky now that I know how awesome it can be not smoking...I hope I make it back here one day.  Hopefully soon. Until then, thank you for all the tools I learned from the long timers on this site.  Thank you for teaching me it's not only possible but actually pretty awesome.