Well, my first observation on this post is that I am not counting hours any longer; I am counting days. 38 awesome smoke free days!!!
I am really, really, really angry this week. And crazy. My thoughts are illogically negative and it's extremely annoying. If I could get away from myself I would. I can only imagine how those close to me feel. I am sorry in advance to you and the entire world. My husband is totally annoying me. My coworkers annoy me. Everyone is doing everything wrong! Oddly, my dogs do not yet annoy me. I logically know this is not related to being a non-smoker as much as it is my monthly estrogen spike. Freud was right, I do have penis envy at least once per month. Last night when a friend suggested I attend a dinner I DO NOT want to go to in a few weeks I had a mini-meltdown which is super out of character. I called later to apologize even though I didn't mean it. I will attend the dinner as requested and do my best to be helpful and a positive participant.
I would like to share that I have been diagnosed with endometriosis and have also had two ectopic pregnancies. Thankfully my OBGYN is an excellent doctor and both ectopics were caught before rupture. Smoking is listed as one of the causes of ectopic pregnancies.Both of those situations coupled with my age (38) AND being a smoker aren't a recipe for successful childbearing. I used to refer to Jackie O as an excuse to continue smoking. She smoked through all five of her pregnancies. What they don't often mention is that of her five pregnancies only two of their children survived. She had one miscarriage, one stillborn, and one son who lived only 38 hours. Smoking also disrupts the female reproductive hormone regulation. If you smoke it's not uncommon to have low progesterone and trouble getting pregnant. It's also not uncommon to begin menopause several years early. quitnow - Female Reproduction
Given these facts, it's not unreasonable for me to be unusually PMS. My body is readjusting to normal. I am SUPER grateful that I have eliminated at least one issue I had control over...I'm grateful to be a non-smoker. I am going to do my best to KMS (Keep Mouth Shut) and not send any mean-spirited emails until my mind returns to normal. Dear God, please help me!
